


Fractures and Mends

by CleverCatchphrase



Series: Of Two Minds [7]
Category: Undertale
Genre: 'that feeling when you have to reread your own fanfic, (I mean I guess), (They fight then make up then fuck), ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Body Sharing, Chapter 3 is a flashback, Don't you just love it when two highly inapropreate tags are next to each other like that?, Dry Humping, Frotting, I'm trying my best to keep the exposition short without it sounding rushed, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Make up sex, Restraints, Suicidal Ideation, and a lot of exposition, and can't remember where you left off', because you've forgot what you've written, but it still ends up being really long regardless, gender neutral chara, gender neutral frisk, getting caught, in more ways than one wink wonk, not enough to be bondage though, relatively little porn, you know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-11-17 14:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11277045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleverCatchphrase/pseuds/CleverCatchphrase
Summary: Frisk thought splitting apart would make things better, but now it seems Chara wants nothing to do with them...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> s'been a while, hasn't it? Sorry to keep you all waiting, and sorry in advance for all the waiting you'll still have to do. Don't expect this fic to update quickly or regularly. I'll be chugging along, but unlike every fic before, I haven't even finished entirely writing this one yet. I'll post as I go, but this one is going to be exposition heavy again like the last, so it will take significantly longer.
> 
> I wanted this to be written all in the past tense. I checked and double checked my grammar, but if you still notice any errors, feel free to point them out~
> 
> Smut will be in the first and fifth chapters if you're only here for that (or if you want to avoid it)

The room was dark behind the closed curtains and shut door. The humid air was quiet, save for the odd gasp and sigh that slipped through Frisk’s lips.

Frisk lay in the bed, stripped bare, and ankles tied down to the bed posts to keep from kicking. It was all thanks to Chara. Despite the date being an even day, Chara’s day, Chara was barely controlling anything at all. The only thing Chara did possess was their arms, leaving the rest for Frisk to pilot.

Chara had decided today was going to be _the_ day. It would be the day they would ruin Frisk nine times in a row. 

It had taken weeks of preparation and practice to get this far. The two had been struggling to reach eight for months, trying their hardest to overcome their plateau by experimenting with an array of positions and toys, and consulting every trick and method they could find online.

Chara had finally cracked the code when they tried combining two things they knew drove Frisk crazy; an almost sadistic combination of edging and ice, where they would drag Frisk to their near breaking point before forcing their hot skin to cool down again and again. They day they broke eight Frisk had practically passed out from pure pleasure, much to Chara’s amusement. 

They hadn’t tried going for nine since that day; Chara wanted to make it special. Frisk usually didn’t say anything if they went a week or two between “training sessions” but Chara wanted to make Frisk want for it, need for it, _beg_ for it.

Frisk had tried to bring it up casually, offhandedly asking when they would try again, but Chara knew it was just a secret way for Frisk to let them know they were getting amorous (or frisky, as Chara liked to tease, though Frisk hated it when Chara used their name like that). Chara didn’t give in easy to Frisk’s persuasions, though. Instead, they taunted Frisk equally each time they brought it up, whispering dirty thoughts into their roommate’s mind in the middle of class until Frisk was so hot and bothered that Chara had to help “relieve” them in the bathroom during the passing periods. On some occasions, Frisk couldn’t quite make it to the end of class, forcing them to start packing a spare change of underwear in a plastic bag each day.

But school was over now, and graduation had been a week ago. Soon Frisk would have to worry about college or trade school, but for Chara those days were still far off in the future. The only thing that mattered now was what was happing here and now and in the moment.

They had been at it for a few hours already. Chara had no holds barred and made certain their entire schedule was clear so they could begin from the moment they woke up. Frisk was well conditioned to come three times with ease under ninety minutes, but Chara was taking extra precautions to space it out and give them adequate time to recover. After their third go, Chara didn’t touch them for an hour. Instead they took back control and milled about the house as if nothing had happened. They busied themselves by surfing the internet, doing some laundry, reading a book, anything to chew up time. After their fourth, Chara decided to do some mundane chores like taking out the trash and checking the mail. After their fifth, they decided to go run some errands out on the town and suppressed silent giggles when they felt Frisk’s consciousness go red with embarrassment about being in public when only ten minutes ago they had had their pants around their ankles in their room participating in unmentionable acts.

It was after the sixth go that things always got tricky. Frisk had always been easy to please and quick to climax, but even they would begin to get desensitized after half a dozen rounds.

Here Chara waited even longer between each attempt and when their fingers found their way south once again, they no longer went at it with reckless abandon. Instead they were slow and steady, more focused on drawing out the fun for as long as they could instead of trying to finish as fast as they can.

The vibrators had come out at hurdle number five, and the edging had begun at six. Ice didn’t need to come into play until the seventh round, and after round eight Frisk was struggling again to stay conscious and fight off their exhaustion.

Chara decided to hold off for an extra-long stretch before going to nine to give Frisk a chance to come back to their senses before cautiously starting their last attempt. They lost track of time some hours ago, only aware that it was starting to get late in the evening. How humorous would it be if Frisk managed to come their ninth time at nine o’clock, Chara mused. It wasn’t that late yet, but still it would be funny.

 

_“Chara, please, speed up,”_ Frisk begged their mental roommate as their fingers stroked them agonizingly slow. _“I… I want to… I want to come.”_

_**“You can come whenever you want, Frisk,”**_ Chara replied. _**“But you know as well as I do if I rush it from here on out your more likely to end up only firing blanks, and that’s not what I want.”**_

Frisk squirmed, spine arching and head thrown back as their hips bucked up into nothing. Their tanks had been emptied long ago, so despite what Chara wanted Frisk couldn’t shoot anything _but_ blanks, so in their eyes it was unbearably cruel to prolong the process. Their legs kicked in frustration, unable to help give themselves adequate leverage. Every muscle down their torso and thighs itched with the need to move; to expend this awful buildup of heat and energy, but Chara wouldn’t let them.

_“Please, Chara,”_ Frisk pleaded, even their internal voice sounded like it was piteously cracking. Chara mentally rolled their eyes.

_**“Frisk, I’ll make you a deal,”**_ Chara said. _**“Do me a favor and I’ll help you finish here and now.”**_

_“What do you want?”_ Frisk thought frantically, ready to accept no matter the terms or conditions.

_**“I want you to say it out loud,”**_ Chara told them. _**“I want you to tell me what you want. I want to hear your voice.”**_

Frisk swallowed but complied, opening their mouth and respiring with nervousness. Chara’s hands never once slowed and Frisk’s whole body shook with tension and delight.

“Chara… please.. g-go faster,” Frisk whispered with eyes screwed tight. Chara obeyed, but only sped up by fractions.

_**“Louder,”**_ Chara asked. _**“The louder you are, the faster I’ll go.”**_

“F-faster,” Frisk said, loud enough for a conversation. Chara gladly complied, picking their tempo from lento to allegro. 

“H-harder, please,” Frisk asked, and Chara obliged, taking all of Frisk in their hand with a firm grasp.

Frisk grunted and whined, fighting against the instinct that told them to stay silent at all cost versus Chara’s request.

_**“Don’t hold back,”**_ Chara reminded them, their hand temporarily pausing and going slack.

The fear that Chara would stop is enough incentive for Frisk to let go of their self-consciousness.

“No, Chara, please. I’m so close.” They mutter, the words tumbling out of their lips.

_**“So close to what?”**_ Chara razzed. _**“Tell me what you’re gonna do.”**_

“I’m gonna.. I’m gonna cum,” Frisk said between heaving breaths, borderline shouting. “Ah! God! Chara, don’t slow down. I’m gonna cum!”

Chara’s thoughts danced with giddy. They loved the way Frisk’s voice sounded, the way Frisk said their name all wrapped up in an erotic moan, the way it cracked and pitched with lust and passion. Chara squeezed as hard as they dared, knowing the exact boundary line between the amount of pleasant and painful pressure and furiously tugged the entire length of Frisk’s shaft, leaving no inch ignored. 

Frisk had been so cooperative and good. IT was time they both got to finish.

Chara’s increase in speed revved up Frisk’s thoughts, making the words trip over themselves as Frisk tried to speak. They began to babble, desperately trying to stick to Chara’s instructions to keep talking, but they were too tongue tied to enunciate, unable to stop the syllables from coming out jumbled up, much less sentences. Only one word came to the forefront of their mind and Frisk clung to it, repeating it out loud like a prayer.

“Chara… Chara… Chara!” 

Chara felt Frisks body swell with air and tense with the anticipation of impending orgasm. Frisk’s last call of their name had sounded more like a wild cry. They were almost there. Chara kept jerking, Just a few more seconds and-

Suddenly the bedroom door opened, and in walked Sans.

“Hey, Frisk, Tori wanted me to tell you-“

The world stopped turning for a moment when everyone made eye contact.

Then a lot of things happened at once.

The first thing to happen was Chara swiftly and violently shoving Frisk’s consciousness to the background as they seized control of their body.

“GET OUT!” Chara shouted, grabbing the first thing within their reach- a pillow- and hurling it at the door. “Don’t look! Get out!”

The pillow lodged his way is enough to snap Sans out of his stupor. He shut the door only enough to deflect it, but not all the way.

“Geez, kid,” he chuckled, his eyes pointedly looking at something on the floor. “You ever hear about these great new inventions called locks?”

“Have you ever heard about _knocking?!_ ” Chara screamed, chucking more pillows at the door until the comedian finally pulled it closed.

“Of course I have,” the skeleton said on the other side of the wall. “I know every knock-knock joke in the book. But, uh, come find me when you’ve um… finished up with whatever you’re doing, okay? I gotta tell you something.” 

“Shit, shit, FUCK!” Chara hissed under their breath as they scurry to untie their ankles from the bed. “He saw us. He fucking saw us!”

_“Chara, why didn’t you lock the door?!”_ Frisk whispered, panicked in Chara’s thoughts.

“Mom’s the only other person in this house and she’s got enough decency to wait for permission before barging into someone’s room!” Chara explained. “And she’s not even home right now! How was I supposed to know HE was gonna show up here?!”

Feet freed, Chara attempted to stand, only to have their knees buckle. 

“DAMN IT!” Chara swears, pushing themselves up from their hands and knees.

_“Sorry!”_ Frisk fretted as Chara struggled to stand. _“I should have warned you that might happen.”_

“No, it’s my fault,” Chara grumbled. “I shouldn’t have toyed around with you so long. If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

They snatched up their clothing which had been carelessly flung to every corner of the room, and hastily throw on their shirt before reaching for their underwear and shorts. Chara runs into a problem when they get their briefs half way up their thighs.

Despite Sans being the worst mood killer, their body was still painfully and obviously hard, having been left high and dry at the worst possible moment.

“Fuck, how are we gonna hide this,” Chara said, studying their throbbing cock.

_“Skinny jeans,”_ Frisk said without missing a beat.

Chara rushed to the closet to trade out their shorts for their pants. It’s uncomfortably tight in the crotch area, but Frisk’s suggestion worked. The tougher material didn’t budge and hid their boner well.

_“Chara, you should let me talk to Sans,”_ Frisk suggested as Chara busied themselves with tiding their room and hiding all the evidence of their lechery.

“No. Today’s my day. I’m in charge,” Chara replied stubbornly. “And I say we are going to stay locked in your room until we die of starvation.”

_“Chara, Sans is expecting me to talk to him. He wouldn’t come see me if it wasn’t important, and he’ll get suspicious if we don’t come out. I have a feeling he won’t leave until we see him.”_

“Oh, I think he’ll understand perfectly fine if we never show our face to him again.”

Frisk didn’t reply, but Chara could feel them frown disapprovingly.

“Look, I can handle this myself, okay?” Chara huffed, straightening their composure and moving to the door.

_“Just… watch what you say, okay?”_

“I’ll be careful,” Chara promised, and stepped out of the room.

Sans was waiting in the living room, casually watching TV like there was nothing out of the ordinary. Chara cleared their throat. He looked up.

“So… what did you need to tell me?” They asked.

“Well first off your shirt’s inside out,” Sans noted. Chara flushed. “Second, your mom wanted me to tell you that she’d be running late from the embassy meeting. Bad weather out of state. She estimates that her return flight will be delayed by a day, maybe two.”

“And she could tell me this herself because?”

“She said she was trying all day, but you weren’t responding, Kiddo. Kinda rude to make her worry like that.”

Chara pulled out Frisk’s phone to check the messages and blushed in embarrassment when they noticed all the missed calls. They had purposefully silenced Frisk’s phone this morning to avoid interruptions. This whole fiasco WAS their fault.

“She also wanted me to drop off some groceries to make sure you didn’t starve in the two extra days she’d be gone.” Sans held up a plastic bag filled with hot dogs and ketchup packets, but no buns. “But I kinda have a feeling you’re not particularly interested in these wieners, are you?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Chara felt their face burning. Instinctively their thoughts turned angry to hide their embarrassment. They took the bag from the skeleton’s hand and wasted no time putting it in the fridge. “Is that it then? Are you going now?”

“Why? Waiting to pick back up where you left off?” Sans mercilessly trolled them.

“Sans…”

“Sure sounded like you were having fun.”

“Sans!”

“Could have sworn I heard you saying something before I walked in…” Sans said quietly, his voice oddly serious. “Sounded kind of like a name… Where you talking to someone named Chara, buddy?”

All the red that had gathered in Chara’s face drained away as their expression went from flustered to stone cold. Frisk’s thoughts were holding their breath with shock and fright, waiting and fearing what would happen next.

“No,” Chara said evenly, betraying nothing in their tone. “I said nothing of the sort.”

It was true, in a sense. Frisk had been the one to do all the vocalizing, so it wasn’t technically a lie.

Sans studied them out of the corner of his eye socket, his boney face equally as expressionless. 

After a long, tense minute he shrugged it off.

“Eh, whatever then. Not like it’s any of my business knowing who you fantasize about boning.”

“Ugh.” Chara groaned.

“But if you ever need a sock to put on your door knob, hit me up. I’ve got dozens of them lying around the house you could borrow.”

“Will you please go!?”

“Anyway,” Sans stretched, before ambling over to the door. “Nice catching up with you. Hope to see you around real soon… _Frisk_.”

And with that, the skeleton was gone.

“He’s on to us,” Chara murmured only after they were a hundred percent certain that they were alone again.

_“Maybe he was just being funny?”_ Frisk suggested half-heartedly, their thoughts equally as unnerved as Chara’s.

“No, you heard the way he paused and stressed your name. He suspects something.”

_“Well, what do you suggest we do?”_

“For now? Nothing.” Chara decided. “Let’s hope that lazy comedian forgets this whole day and we never see him again as long as we live.”

_“That’s rude,”_ Frisk reprimanded them. _“But yeah, I agree we should lay low for a bit. Hopefully we won’t have to run into him for a while.”_

“Hopefully,” Chara agreed.

* * *

Chara didn’t like sans.

For Frisk this was a fact as blatant that water was wet. Even long before they started switching off every day, Frisk had always been aware of Chara’s suspicion and unease whenever Sans was around. It had only gotten worse in the past months on the rare occasion that Chara had to interact with Sans directly, despite how hard both Chara and Frisk tried to organize meet ups and get-togethers to fall only on Frisk’s days.

But ever since the day Sans walked in on them, it seemed he was starting to come around more frequently.

If he still suspected something, he certainly didn’t show it, but Chara took no chances. As soon as the skeleton turned up on the scene, they would go find something else to do. It was usually chores. Sans wouldn’t bother them if they were visibly busy, and he was even less likely to offer any help. The mere thought of voluntarily working would tire him out.

But one Sunday afternoon on one of Chara’s days, Sans stopped by.

Chara had been lounging in the living room, helping Toriel grade summer school homework on the floor while she sat on the couch, occasionally offering a head scratch as she worked out her lesson plan. Chara loved the tingling sensation it sent down their spine and eagerly leaned in each time her claws itched their scalp.

“Knock, knock,” Sans said opening the front door instead of actually knocking like a person who knew what manners were.

Chara startled at his voice, their red grading pen slashing across some fourth grader’s math paper.

“Sans, you’re early!” Toriel smiled, waving her friend to come in. “I wasn’t expecting you to show up until this evening!”

“Mom,” Chara said patiently with pseudo pleasantry. “You knew sans was coming over?” They put on a careful smile. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh, it was rather last minute,” Toriel explained. “Despite my summer class being so small, I am still terribly behind on grading papers, even with your help Frisk. I must also start planning for the new school year in the fall, picking out text books and writing supplies and study aids. It’s all so much, I just had to call in a favor.”

“No worries, Kiddo,” Sans winked. “I’m not here to _school_ you. Just pass me a stack of papers and a pen.”

“Here, just take mine,” Chara grumbled, getting up. “I need a break anyway to catch up on the dishes.”

They hurried out of the living room without even looking in Sans’ direction. True to their word, Chara bee-lined it to the kitchen and picked up a sponge to tackle the dishes left in the sink to soak.

_“Oh, c’mon, Chara,”_ Frisk thought, a ray of light in Chara’s stormy thoughts. _“Sans wasn’t even doing anything. It’s been weeks since the incident. We shouldn’t be avoiding him like this anymore.”_

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” Chara whispered under their breath. “I’m just taking a well-timed break to do some chores. Chores _you_ require I do, need I remind you.”

_“Chara, you finished repaying me months ago, you know that,”_ Frisk pointed out. _“You’re doing this on purpose.”_

Furrowing their brow, Chara aggressively scrubbed a bowl and shifted it to the drying rack before plunging their hand into the soapy water once more.

“I’m not doing anythi-”

They suddenly recoiled with a hiss, yanking their hand back as if they’d been bitten, and a sharp stinging pain fired through their mind, bright enough for even Frisk to feel.

Chara stumbled back in a panic, knocking a glass off the counter in the process, sending it shattering to the floor.

When the initial shock finally faded, Chara looked at their left hand to find a jagged cut across the inner side of their first two fingers, bleeding profusely. 

The sight of blood makes Chara go from alarmed to stone stiff.

They freeze, staring blankly at the cut on their hand. Shock and adrenaline dull their senses, but Chara might as well have been petrified with how still they’ve become.

“Frisk!” Toriel shouted with worry, but her panicked voice is muffled and distant to Chara’s ears. “Frisk, we heard a crash. Are you alright?”

_“Chara? Chara are you okay?”_ Frisk desperately called to their unresponsive partner. As soon as they saw the blood, Chara’s thoughts had come to a screeching halt and sudden lock down. _“Chara! Please! Answer me!”_ In a vain attempt to snap Chara out of it, Frisk ventured into their companion’s subconscious, only to find a swirling black hole of anxiety and horror. Despite their frozen outward appearance, Chara’s thoughts were in a frenzy, swelling with static and fear and on the brink of bursting into a full-blown panic attack.

“Frisk!” 

A strong hand squeezed Chara’s shoulder and they flinched. They lifted their head, but it was an effort, like their entire skull has been turned to lead and encased in molasses.

“Frisk, what happened?” Toriel asked, examining the cut. Chara stared at her, through her, looking but not truly seeing her there.

Sans shifted behind her, waving the bubbles away from the surface of the sink water with his hand.

“I think I found the culprit,” he said, carefully fishing out a knife from the basin. “Bet you didn’t see this when you reached in, didn’t you Kiddo? Nicked yourself pretty bad, huh?”

Chara turned to him, blankly, dumbly. Then their eyes found the knife and the spell broke.

They took a shuttering breath, their entire body wracked with terror.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, please forgive me.” They prattle, words spilling out in a rush.

“Frisk, my child, it will be okay,” Toriel Soothed. She took their hand in hers and began to cast a healing spell. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing. It was I who left the knife in the soapy water where it could not be seen, so in a sense this is my fault.”

“Yeah, don’t sweat it, kiddo,” Sans said, putting the knife on the counter and pulling out his cell phone. “Toriel will fix you up _faster than you can say ‘knife’.”_ He trailed off as he began to type a text message, not even checking to see if anyone understood his idiom-based joke.

Chara didn’t hear either of them as they kept uttering apologies. Frisk knew it wasn’t Toriel Chara was apologizing to, but rather to _them_ , yet no matter how many reassurances Frisk gave, Chara could not be consoled. 

It’s only when Toriel finishes her spell does Chara start to relax. She removed her hand to show them the damage had been undone with not so much as a scar to show for it.

“Better?” Toriel asked, smiling gently.

Seeing no trace of injury, Chara could finally breathe easy and manage a nod, but Frisk could feel that they were still far from okay.

“Good. You go ahead and relax, Frisk.” Toriel patted them on the back. “I’ll finish the dishes.”

Chara nodded again and turned towards the hall, more drifting to their room than walking.

They made no attempt to close the door as they collapsed into bed. Chara rolled over to face the wall, absently staring at their left hand. Outwardly, they’re quiet, but Frisk could sense Chara’s thoughts bubbling with a persistent, lingering trepidation. 

The silence dragged on until Frisk could no longer stand it and dared to address the elephant in the room.

_“Chara-”_

“I’m sorry,” Chara interrupted, their words spiked with grief and dread. “I wasn’t trying to, honest. Please, _please_ forgive me.”

_“What? Of course I forgive you, Chara.”_ Frisk said, confused and concerned. They couldn’t remember a time Chara getting this upset. It was worrying to say the least. _“Mom fixed the cut so everything’s okay. This is making you way more stressed out than it should, Chara. Is there something more going on here?”_

“I’m not allowed to hurt you,” Chara shivered, their heart beating in double time.

_“Chara, it was an accident.”_

“You said no accidental injuries!” Their voice caught and squeaked, and at the same time the dam holding back all of Chara’s inner turmoil broke, and Frisk finally understood.

Like a tidal wave crashing over them, Frisk was plunged into a whirlpool of terror and dismay as Chara’s thoughts and insecurities drown them.

The fear of being restricted, of sensory deprivation, of never again being able to feel and interact with the world around them ever again. The fear of losing it all and being locked away is too much for Chara to bear. 

_“Chara! Chara listen to me! It’s okay! I’m not going to cut you off over this!”_

“You won’t?”

_“Yes, I promise,”_ Frisk swore. _“This is our body now, after all. We’ve been switching for almost a year now, Chara. And only one accident in all that time? I know you weren’t trying to injure yourself and that it wasn’t intentional so you don’t have to be afraid. I won’t shut you out. Not now, not ever again.”_

Chara forced themselves to inhale long and deep, and released all the tension and worry from their body.

“Thank you, Frisk.” They said with a sigh of relief, and rolled over to get out of bed. No sooner than they finished flipping over do their eyes catch sight of Sans standing in the middle of the room.

“Sans!” Chara barked in surprise, jerking back so hard that they hit the wall.

“Yo,” said Sans, not looking up. He was still too focused on typing something on his phone. More text messages, no doubt.

“H-how long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, long enough,” the skeleton shrugged, his permanent smile betraying nothing. “So, uh, who were you talking to this time, buddy?”

It sounded like a trap. It _felt_ like a trap, and both Chara and Frisk knew it. Sans was trying to trick them into admitting some piece of guilt, but they weren’t sure how.

Chara swallowed. They wouldn’t lie to Sans. They wouldn’t lie to anyone. Instead Chara relied on telling only half truths or lies of omission, or gave vague answers that could be interpreted to mean whatever the listener wanted. 

“I was talking to myself.” Chara said carefully, judging the skeleton’s response.

“Is that so?” Sans replied sarcastically. “Because unless you recently started talking in the third person, it sounded like you were talking to Frisk.”

Chara smiled innocently, though the danger sirens were blaring in their thoughts. “Well, I am Frisk, aren’t I?”

It’s a rhetorical question, not really meant to be a statement of truth either, so neither is it a lie.

“Heh, heh, I’m glad you bring that up, kid.” Sans tilts his head up and his eyes go dark. With a flick of the wrist the bedroom door closes and locks shut. “Because I’ve been watching you these past few weeks, **and I don’t think you are.”**

And with a snap of his fingers, the world disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *writes an entire chapter of another fic, and it takes a month to do.*  
> *Hates every word of it and scraps it to start fresh*  
> *Is too tired to do it all over and writes more smut fic instead.*
> 
> I didn't proof read any of this, sorry not sorry. I'm just desperate to upload _something_ since it's taking me so long to get these stories done. If you notice any errors, point them out and I'll fix them, but in the meantime, I'm going to bed. Nighty night!
> 
> EDIT: fixed some major errors that I somehow didn't see in the very first goddamn sentence. That's how out of it I am. Good night.

For the briefest of seconds everything was impossibly dark and impossibly cold. Chara couldn’t move, weightless and nowhere. Nothing existed above or below them in this place between places where time and space were not real. They could not breathe, they could not think, trapped within the void. And then, just as quickly as it happened, it was over, and Chara was brought back into reality.

Everything around them had changed- the temperature, the brightness, the humidity, the air pressure, even the smell, and it was drastic enough to almost give them a seizure. A wave of nausea and vertigo rose up from their guts and Chara fought the sudden urge to retch as they stumbled forward, threatening to collapse before finding an object nearby to grab and anchor themselves to until the world stopped spinning. A trip through the void, no matter how short, was never kind on those who possessed stomachs.

The object in question that they had latched onto was a cold metal rail- a handle attached to a mattress on a wheeled bed, similar to those one would find in a hospital setting. Actually, now that they thought about it, they _had_ seen this bed in a hospital setting…

Chara’s eyes darted around as realization sank in. They _recognized_ this place. 

“What… what are we doing here?” Chara swallowed, not bothering to look at the skeleton they knew was behind them and watching them closely. “Why are we in the true lab?”

“Easy,” Sans said, and Chara could practically hear him smirking. “I know I can’t kill you. You’d just come back two steps ahead of me next time. Plus, I’m still on good terms with _my_ Frisk, and I want them back, so in the meantime, the next best option would be to contain whoever _you_ are until we get this whole mess sorted out.”

Chara opened their mouth to say something, but in the same moment a faint bell went _ding!_ in the distance, followed by the sound of pattering claws on tile and a nervous voice talking to herself.

“Okay, first I’ll need to set up an examination room and make sure it’s sterilized, then set up the x-ray and possibly an I-V. God, I wished Sans could have given me more warning about this, but then again no one really plans an accident, do they? Still, I gotta hurry before they get- AHHH!” 

Alphys exploded onto the scene with an overflowing bag of medical supplies in tow.

“ _Oh no, Alphys is here,”_ Frisk thought. “ _If she finds out, she’ll tell everyone. We might as well come clean now, Chara.”_

 ** _”No, let me handle this,”_** Chara thought back.

“O-oh!” Alphys tried to compose herself over her initial surprise. “You’re already here! I came as soon as I got your text messages, Sans. Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.” 

“Eh, it’s no biggie.” Sans shrugged. 

“’No biggie’? B-but you told me something was seriously wrong with Frisk!” The doctor’s head snapped back and forth between them. 

“Well, it seems someone was playing a rotten prank on the both of us,” Chara said innocently. “I feel just fine, Alphys. May I have a doctor’s note to go home, now?”

“Sans, please don’t tell me this was a joke,” Alphys crossed her arms, angrily. “I’m busy enough already! I thought it was an emergency!”

“It kinda is,” Sans said calmly, conjuring a small pointed bone. “Look at this.”

Without warning, Sans aimed the projectile in Chara’s direction and fired. Alphys screamed and ducked. Time seemed to slow as the attack sped towards Chara. Instinct took over just in time, their heart’s cadence speeding up triple-time as their soul was drawn into battle and the color drained from the room. Reflexively, they dodged to the side and the bone harmlessly flew by.

“What the hell, Sans? That could have hit me!” Chara shouted, and turned toward the scientist. “Alphys! Clearly Sans is the one who needs help, not me. I think we need to call the authorities and have him- Alphys?”

But neither Alphys or Sans were looking at them. Instead they were looking at something above them. Confused, Chara looked up too and saw, clear as day, their stats in pixelated font over their head;

CHARA LV.1 HP:20/20

Their shoulders sagged. The jig was up.

“Shit…”

 _”Ready to come clean now?”_ Frisk asked, though not unkindly. _”It’s over, Chara. They know.”_

“I-I-I can’t believe this…” Alphys said, almost dreamily as the fight ended and the world regained its color.

“I know, right?” Sans said mockingly. “What do you make of this? D’you think Frisk developed a multiple personality disorder, or do we have some kind of squatter invading with some type of magic inside our friend?”

“It’s _you_ , isn’t it?” The dinosaur said urgently, stepping closer to Chara. “You’re the one Prince Asriel mentions in the tapes!”

“Uhh,” Chara stared, just as flabbergasted as Sans.

“Wait, tapes? What tapes?” Sans interrupted. 

“The Dreemurr’s old home movies!” Alphys said with a mixture of awe and fear. “They’re Chara Dreemurr! They were the Dreemurr’s human child! They were Asriel’s sibling! They-! They… died… almost two centuries ago.”

Neither Chara nor Frisk knew how to respond, and instead just stood there dumbly, waiting for someone to make the next move.

“Died, huh?” Sans pointed out, stretching his back and moving ominously towards them. “So that means we’re dealing with a ghost possessing Frisk, then? Hm. Nothing a simple exorcism can’t fix.”

The mere notion of a spiritual expulsion is enough to send Chara into gridlock, their thoughts overwhelmed with panic and rendered them frozen to the spot. Not even Frisk could get through to them to spur them into action.

 _”Chara! Chara, you need to let me talk to him! Quick! Before he does something to us!”_ Frisk begged, but Chara couldn’t move.

Sans raised one boney hand wreathed in blue magic as he inched closer. “Hold still, kid. This won’t hurt a bit.”

 _”Chara, please forgive me for this,”_ Frisk said, and with a surge of will, they pulled Chara’s conscious away from the helm and took control.

“Waitwaitwait! Sans! Stop! It’s me! It’s Frisk speaking!” Frisk pleaded, arms thrown up and staggering back away from his magic. And to their surprise, Sans actually hesitated. 

“How can I know for sure, kid?” He asked, uncertain. “It could be just a rouse.”

“I can prove it’s me! I know your code word!” Frisk said.

“My code word?” Sans eyes flashed with interest. “Lay it on me, then.”

“It’s… I’m the legendary fart master,” Frisk muttered. Alphys and Sans tried to repress their snickers.

“Wow, Frisk. That’s super immature and _not_ my code word. However-” he continued before Frisk could interject. “It _is_ my secret, secret, triple-secret code word, who I only tell to the most trustworthy, so I guess that means it really is you in there.”

Sans extinguished his hand and lowered it. Frisk exhaled in relief.

“So Frisk… how long has this been going on for?” Alphys asked.

Frisk knew there was no point in lying anymore. They were tired with all the secrets anyway.

“Ever since I fell into the Underground,” they admitted. “About eight years or so ago now.”

“This punk’s been possessing you for that long?” Sans asked. “How come you never told anyone?”

“Chara’s _not_ possessing me.” Frisk said defensively. “They’re… _stuck_ to me, attached to my soul.” They tried to explain. “They can’t help it, and neither can I.”

“Well, maybe there’s nothing you can do about it,” Sans said. “But you seem to have forgotten we monsters have done a lot of research on human souls. We could have _excised_ them for you.”

Frisk felt Chara’s hackles rise with hatred and alarm.

“Chara can hear you, you know,” Frisk raised their voice defiantly. “A-and no matter what you do, it wouldn’t work! You can’t destroy them because they’re already soulless, and whatever happens to them would also affect me.”

“You make a strong case, Frisk,” Sans sighed. “But the fact of the matter is we can’t have two people running around in one body. What if they committed a crime in your name? What would you say? ‘The ghost in my head did it, not me’? That defense wouldn’t hold up in court.”

“Chara would never do a thing like that. I’ve made them promise,” Frisk muttered, averting their gaze and sitting down on the bed.

“And what’s to stop them from breaking that promise?” Sans countered, joining Frisk on the mattress. Alphys, meanwhile, gazed off into the distance, apparently lost in her own thoughts. “What if they decided to Reset? What if they decided to kill? I’ve already caught them abusing you-”

“Chara’s never abused me!” Frisk snapped.

“Oh really? Because a few weeks ago I found you tied to a bed, begging for mercy-”

“SSHHHshhhssshhhhsshshhshsh!!!” Frisk hissed, slapping one hand over the skeleton’s mouth to silence him. They stole a quick glance towards Alphys, who thankfully hadn’t noticed, still preoccupied with something else on her mind. “That was something entirely different and I would greatly _appreciate_ it if you didn’t bring it up.”

Sans rolled his eyes. “Anyway,” he said, gingerly pushing Frisk’s hand away. “The bottom line is, although _you_ may trust this guy, _I_ don’t, and something needs to be done about it. Look, Frisk, it’ll be safer for everyone in the long run if you dropped this joker before an irreparable mistake is made,” Sans urged. Frisk didn’t reply. Sans sighed.

“You know, this reminds me of a dream I had once,” Sans said, switching topics. “Or maybe ‘nightmare’ is more accurate. Though on really bad days it feels like a memory. Either way, I’m pretty sure this anecdote is completely unrelated, but I kinda feel like sharing.”

The skeleton settled in and cleared his throat, for all the good it did him. “It all starts with me in the final hallway, where I’m s’posed to judge you and what not. And you come waltzing up to me, except it’s not you. It’s… some _thing_ that’s wearing your skin and covered in dust and only has eyes for its next target to hack up with a knife.

“And in this nightmare I throw everything I’ve got at this creature because there’s this little voice in my head saying ‘that ain’t Frisk, so blast it out of Frisk’s body’. And I do. I swear, everything I throw at it hits true, but like the world’s most stubborn phoenix, it just keeps rising from all the ash and dust it leaves in its wake. Until, finally, it catches me off guard and…”

Sans shakes his head and huffs. “Well, that’s where the nightmare ends, but some days it just feels so real that it paralyzes me. Frisk, you know my memory is no better than any other monster’s when a Reset happens, but I trust my intuition, and right now it’s saying that this buddy of yours is bad news, so forgive me when I say I take my prophetic dreams seriously.”

“Well, there’s no way you can get rid of Chara without getting rid of me,” Frisk said sullenly. “So what do you plan to do? Keep us lock in the lab forever where you can keep an eye on us?”

“Looks like it until you let us purge your soul.”

“Wait, I-I-I think there’s another solution,” Alphys spoke up from her trance. “Sans, I may not be the Royal Scientist anymore, b-b-but that hasn’t stopped me from researching souls here on the surface.”

“Really?” Sans asked.

“Y-yeah! There are so many medical papers and scientific journals on human medicine on the surface! Granted, the amount of studies on souls is still scant, I guess that soul research is still taboo up here, b-but in my free time I _have_ written down a hypothesis or two on how to preserve fractured souls! Granted, again, most of them were written with monsters in mind with the end goal of preventing anyone else from Falling Down, but if I just adjust my parameters to maintain a soul between two human beings, then I still think we can successfully split you two apart, Frisk!”

It takes a second for Alphys’ words to sink in, and when they do, Frisk asked her to confirm their suspicions with only one hopeful almost elated question.

“Are you saying you can give Chara their own body?”

“Possibly!” Alphys nods. “I-it might take a few weeks because we’d need to find Chara’s remains and reverse the decaying process of their bones, not to mention re-growing all the tissues they’ve lost pretty much from scratch, b-but our science has the ability to speed up the process so it shouldn’t take any longer than a month or two. Oh, a-and of course since we’re dealing with a healthy human soul we’re trying to split, and not a weakening monster soul we’re trying to keep together, we’d have to run a number of tests to make sure only one conscience stays in each soul half so no-one’s personality gets mixed up. Overall, it’ll take a lot of work, a-and you’d have to stay here, but I think it’s feasible!”

 ** _”Frisk, can you believe this bullshit they’re spewing?”_** Chara spoke up. **_”I’m done humoring them. Can you ask them to let us go home now?”_**

But Frisk didn’t hear Chara, their own thoughts too preoccupied fantasizing the possibilities of these implications. 

If Chara had their own body, a chance to be completely autonomous, a chance to be _alive_ , then no longer would either of them have to be bound by their current limitations of sharing one host. Chara would be real. Chara would be _free_. And Frisk would finally be able to see them face to face, to have and hold a physical form in their own arms… It was everything they could ever dream of.

 ** _”Frisk, wait-“_** Chara said hurriedly as they felt Frisk’s mind reaching an ultimatum. **_”This is a really big decision. Shouldn’t we-”_** But Frisk ignored them, too caught up in their own excitement.

“Yes.” They told the two scientists. “Split us apart. Help me set Chara free.”

* * *

They weren’t allowed to leave the true lab that evening, or any evening after that for the matter. Frisk didn’t mind. Sans had created several alibis for them, saying Papyrus wanted to have a sleep over with their favorite human, to an impromptu camping trip. Since Sans came back in one piece each day, Chara guessed that meant Toriel believed him and hadn’t come tearing apart the underground looking for them yet.

Frisk didn’t mind the house arrest. Learning that Chara could potentially get their own body was enough to distract them from the depressing dark and gloom of the hospital, and they threw themselves into the project with all they had, helping Alphys and Sans with every test and task they requested. So focused on the end goal, they hardly paid much attention to Chara’s thoughts at all. Not that Chara was particularly vocal anyway.

Frisk told Alphys and Sans everything they and Chara had done in the last year. Well, nearly everything. Anything even remotely suggestive was politely omitted, but all things from their contract to switching off every day to how they shared homework and chores. Alphys studiously recorded every word Frisk said while Sans simply nodded along (and sometimes nodded off). Like Alphys predicted, there were a lot of tests and prep work to be done beforehand. Alphys needed blood work, measurements, psychiatric evaluations, soul examinations and countless questionnaires. Frisk tirelessly complied on their days, but on Chara’s days it was like trying to coax answers out of a brick wall with how unwilling they were to work with the scientists.

Chara was unusually quiet in the true lab, keeping to themselves, though Frisk knew Chara watched every minute action the scientists did through Frisk’s eyes with laser sharp focus. Whenever Frisk did need to ask Chara a question, they coldly replied with one word answers much to everyone’s frustration.

Too enthusiastic to be angry at Chara’s uncooperativeness, Frisk didn’t bother to reprimand them. Chara liked to be difficult. This was no different.

It was worse on Chara’s days when they had full control. When Alphys and Sans tried to run diagnostics on Chara directly, Chara was much more hostile, opting to strike out at the scientists enough to void any data taken. On most of Chara’s days, Alphys didn’t even try to work with them and instead focused on rebuilding their body from their ancient bones.

Chara preferred it that way, being left to their own devices. On their days they meandered the ancient halls of the laboratory looking for a way out. It was strange how the elevator was always conveniently out of order, and how the emergency stairs were always locked every other day. They were never broken on Frisk’s days, but then again Frisk never tried to leave. Chara was still certain they’d work if Frisk wanted to leave, knowing Frisk would loyally come right back at the end of the day.

After a week of failed escape attempts, Chara gave up and resorted to the silent treatment, ignoring everyone and everything around them and refusing to leave their room. It was so bad that not even Frisk could get a response from them.

And it was at this point Sans decided to bring them some guests for a chat.

“Yo, kiddo, I brought you some visitors,” Sans said after Chara’s third day of silent protest. Sulking in their makeshift hospital bedroom, Chara didn’t bother to look, but they stiffened when two familiar horned shadows cross the wall.

“Frisk?” Toriel’s fretful voice asks from the doorway. “Sans had told me you were on a college scouting trip, but then he called me and Asgore saying there was a change of plans, and now you’re here in the hospital!”

“Was there some sort of accident, Frisk?” Asgore’s voice follows. “Are you alright?”

Chara slowly rolled over and sat up. “Sans don’t do this to them,” they said lowly, completely ignoring the former matriarchs in the room. “If you have _any_ mercy in your heart, then please don’t hurt them like this.”

“Er, are we… missing something?” Asgore said worriedly. 

“Yes,” Toriel added, casting a suspicious eye at Sans. “I cannot help but feel like we are being left out on a very unfunny inside joke.”

“You caught me,” Sans admitted, putting up his hands. “Truth be told, I never took Frisk on that slumber party, or camping over the week. Mainly because, well, we currently aren’t talking to Frisk.”

“Sans, _please_.” Chara pleaded. “Don’t do this, I’m begging you.”

“They’re gonna find out sooner or later, kiddo.” Sans shrugged unapologetically.

“Not… talking to Frisk?” The old king repeated in confusion. “I’m sorry, Sans, but I’m afraid you aren’t making any sense. Frisk is right in front of us. If this isn’t Frisk, then who else would it be?”

“Well, let’s just say it’s another human you know. One who also lived with you for a while before _biting the dust_.”

There’s a pause of confusion as the two goats stare blankly at the skeleton, then a simultaneous intake of breath as their heads swivel to the human, and then a bombardment of questions.

“Chara?” “How can this be?” “Is it really you?” “How long?” “Has it been you all this time?” “Why didn’t you say something?”

Frisk waited helplessly on the sidelines as Chara’s thoughts went into lockdown. Like a cornered animal being pelted with stones, their mind and posture coiled up in defense, looking for an escape and finding none, being pushed closer and closer to lashing out. 

“I cannot believe it,” Toriel sniffed, wiping a tear from her eye. “For years I- Asgore _and_ I would wake up each morning wishing we had just one extra day with you Chara, to tell you we loved you one last time. Your sickness took you so fast… We never forgave ourselves for missing that chance.”

“But by miracle of miracles, you’ve come back to us,” Asgore smiled. “We can’t believe how blessed we are.”

“You mean… you _missed_ me?” Chara said, grinding their teeth. “You’re _happy_ to see me back?! What’s wrong with you!? You should hate me!”

“Hate you?” Asgore echoed in alarm. “Chara, we could _never_ hate you! Why are you upset?”

“You mean after all this time you two still haven’t realized!?” Chara shouted. “My actions ruined your marriage! You two don’t love each other anymore because of me!” 

“Chara, no,” Toriel shushed them with a soothing hand. “That’s not your fault. It was never your fault. Don’t blame yourself for our choices.”

Chara pushed her hand away. “Oh yeah? Well what about Asriel, then? If I hadn’t died, he wouldn’t have died either!”

“Chara, that was an accident-”

“NO IT WASN’T!” Chara screamed. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?! Asriel and I had a plan! I died on _purpose!_ I _killed_ myself so he could take my soul and go to the surface to get more! _I_ got my brother killed! Mom, I forced you to watch other kids walk to their death! Dad, I made you a murderer in my name! _You should both hate me!_ ”

The air is tense as Chara heaves from their outburst. For several seconds no one says anything. Toriel and Asgore exchange a look of sorrow. 

“I _wanted_ to die,” Chara said quietly. “I _knew_ what I was doing. I _intentionally_ died, so that mean, _yes_ , everything that happened afterwards is. My. Fault.”

Chara heavily sat back down on the bed and stared at their shoes, too ashamed to look their parents in the eyes. 

“Chara,” Asgore said gently, placing one paw on their hand. “We forgive you.”

And for some reason, those three words hurt them more than they could ever imagine.

“But I got your son killed. How can you forgive me for killing Asriel? Did you not love him too?”

“We loved you both, Chara,” Toriel assured them. “More than you can ever comprehend. And not a day goes by where we don’t miss Asriel either, but we are so happy to know one of our children has come back to us.”

“You should hate me. You _need_ to hate me.” Chara shook their head weakly. “I wasn’t going to stop, you know. Getting the souls? I wouldn’t have stopped at six. If Asriel hadn’t held me back, I would have taken them all out. I would have started a second war.”

“We would still have forgiven you, Chara,” Toriel said.

“I forced monsters to spend decades trapped in the underground,” Chara went on. “If I had died normally, Asriel could have gone to the surface peacefully to get more souls. But I ruined that. You all had to wait and suffer. How many monsters were born and died under that mountain without ever once seeing the sky?”

“We still forgive you, Chara,” Asgore said.

“It doesn’t how much you forgive me,” Chara said hollowly. “At the end of the day, I’m still a bad person at my core.”

“Chara, you’re not a bad person,” Asgore told them sternly, and with amazing gentleness he wrapped his arms around his adopted child. Toriel quickly followed suit until Chara was trapped, immobile in an inescapable embrace of love and warmth. “You just made bad choices. It’s never too late to make amends. It’s never too late for forgiveness.”

“I… I…” But Chara had run out of points to argue. “I don’t understand…” they sob. “Why? Why are you so willing to just let it all go?”

“Simple,” Toriel said. “Because we love you. And nothing will _ever_ change that.”

Silently Sans left the room to let the trio hug it out in privacy. Too choked to keep talking, Chara buried their face into the former king and queen’s fur, and for the second time in their life, Frisk witnessed Chara cry.

* * *

Chara didn’t resist any of Sans’ or Alphys’ requests after that. Toriel and Asgore visited frequently, and despite being given a rundown by Sans, Chara found themselves answering the same questions again and again. No, they were not pretending to be Frisk. Yes, Frisk was still there. No, they hadn’t always been attached to Frisk. Yes, Chara had been spending time with both of them without revealing the truth. No, they didn’t help Frisk cheat on their homework or tests. Okay, yes, they did help Frisk cheat a little. 

Alphys gave daily progress reports on Chara’s body and how it was aging at a steady rate. She explained it to them in great detail once, how they used the genes of an immortal jellyfish to reverse the aging process of their bones, and the genes and stem cells of a naked mole rat to restore telomeres and grow tissues and organs, and a ton of other science-y mumbo jumbo. Chara didn’t retain any of it. Just so long as the final product was considered at least eighteen years old, they didn’t care. 

“Why eighteen?” Alphys had asked. “You were fourteen when you died.”

“Because I’ve already lived through a second childhood with Frisk,” Chara explained. “I’ve grown up and matured alongside them. I’d feel like an adult trapped in a child’s body otherwise.”

“Hm. Good point.” Alphys said. “That may delay the aging process by a week though.

“I don’t care. Just so long as the age gap between me and Frisk isn’t too big.”

“Yeah, that would get you two into legal trouble, wouldn’t it?” Sans asked coyly.

“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!” Chara yelled, and promptly resumed being uncooperative after that.

At Chara’s request, Asgore brought Flowey to the true lab. Asgore complied without question and for a week, Chara toted Flowey around like a security blanket.

“So, secret’s out, huh?” Flowey asked Chara one evening after everyone else had gone home for the evening. 

“Yeah…”

“And pretty soon you’re gonna get your own body?”

“Yeah. Alphys says any day now. It’s been six weeks, but it’s not done ‘aging’ yet.”

“Ah.” The two sat in silence, staring at different parts of equally blank walls. “So… Toriel and Asgore come by a lot.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re not… you’re not going to tell them about me, are you?” Flowey asked with a nervous edge.

“No.” 

Flowey exhaled in relief. “Thank you. If they ever found out, they might try to bring Asriel back too, and I don’t know how I would feel about that.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Chara said. “Besides, we would need seven human souls to try to change you back into Asriel. And finding seven donors isn’t as easy as it sounds. We’re not even sure how well splitting one is going to work.”

“I know. Seven souls is a lot of power to potentially misuse, but it’s more than that,” Flowey said distractedly. “I… I don’t know if I even _want_ to come back. After all I’ve done. I don’t know if I could handle that.”

Chara hugs Flowey’s pot tight, head bowed and shoulders hunched. It takes a second for both him and Frisk to realize that Chara’s shaking.

“Me either.” Chara whispers.

* * *

Two months pass before Alphys deems Chara’s new body ready. Neither Frisk nor Chara had seen it in weeks, being too preoccupied with modifying Alphys’ old DT extractor into a Soul Separator, and going through dozens of mental preparations needed to make sure each conscience was separated cleanly when the split occurred. 

It was Frisk’s day when everything was finally ready to go ahead with the final step. Buzzing with anticipation and excitement, they made one last Save and took their place by an empty capsule. They hadn’t noticed Chara was more withdrawn than usual that morning.

Frisk patiently stood by the DT extractor, which had been modified with attachments for two human-sized pods. One was horizontal and empty, fitted with a cushion on the bottom so the occupant could lie down comfortably. The other was slowly being reclined into the same horizontal angle by Sans and his blue magic. He was careful not to jostle the fluid filled jar or the body inside.

Frisk stole a quick glance at it, trying not to look to long out of modesty’s sake. Chara’s body looked how they had envisioned, how they had seen it in the rare dreams they did remember. It was pale as the moon with auburn hair as straight as a razor and almost as long as Chara was tall. The body looked like a giant sleeping baby, still curled in the fetal position with natal chord attached, though it had been given an oxygen mask weeks back once its lungs had developed. 

“A-alright! Th-that’s the last piece in place!” Alphys clasped her hand together with a determined smile on her face. “R-ready to do this?”

Frisk nodded and shot her a thumbs up.

“O-okay! Give me a second to get to my computer.”

The scientist scurried into another room, Sans close behind but at a much more leisurely pace. They vanished out the door for a second, and then reappeared on the other side of a big acrylic window where Toriel, Asgore, and Flowey stood watching from the sidelines. 

“Okay! All readings are clear!” Alphys’ voice said over an intercom. “You’re good to enter the capsule!”

Frisk obeyed, crouching inside and lying flat on their back. There was a small beep, and the hiss of compressed air as the glass cover lowed and sealed itself shut. Tiny multicolored lights blinked around their head, and a laser scanned their body.

“Alright, now try to relax. The soul extraction will begin shortly, followed by the bifurcation and transfer. You might feel a quick sting, b-but I promise that’s normal and it will all be over before you know it!”

Frisk took a deep, steadying breath as the machine charged up. Alone with their thoughts they reached out to Chara.

 _”Can you believe it, Chara?”_ Frisk thought to distract their nerves. _”We’re finally going to see each other face to face!”_

 ** _”Yeah…”_** Chara said absently.

_”You okay?” You don’t sound excited.”_

**_”Excited?”_** Chara’s thoughts grew hot with offense. **_”Two months of not asking my opinion, and NOW you care about how I feel? No Frisk! I’m not okay! In fact I’m really-! I’m really…”_** Their indignation fades as Chara struggles to find the words. **_”Frisk. To be completely honest, I don’t know if I can do this... I’m sc-“_**

But Frisk never got to hear the end of Chara’s sentence for at that moment their soul was torn from their body and swiftly cleaved in two.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 days shy of being gone for 8 MONTHS, I have returned! Sorry for being away for so long! I would have been back 3 months sooner but I just spent the last 12 weeks desperately trying to get my fan troll in an official homestuck game! It didn't work! 
> 
> (Another reason this is so late is because this chapter just kept coming out too. damn. LONG. The original draft was so overly detailed it was more than twice the length of the first two chapters combined and was basically its own story when it didn't need to be. I hope it doesn't sound too rushed. I whittled it down a lot.)
> 
> Let's see if I can finish this story by the end of April! I'm super motivated to write after not doing so for 3 months!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The future... Is in the past! ONWARD AOSHIMA!" -Mabel Pines.
> 
> (Yes this chapter is a flashback, and just a reminder, all smut is going to be in chapters 1 and 5)

Their eyes fluttered open and squinted against the harsh spot of light that shone down on them. Yellow flower pollen drifted in the air and delicately landed on their lashes and cheeks.

_“Ugh… where… am I?”_ They thought as they pushed themselves into a sitting position. Golden flowers stretched out around them as far as their eyes could see.

Their heart skipped a beat. Had they done it? Did they successfully pull it off this time? Was this-

**_“Asriel, what happened?”_ **

The sudden alien voice cut into their thoughts like a dagger and they jump. The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

“Ah! What- Who said that?” They ask, looking around for the source.

**_“Asriel you dolt! Don’t play dumb! It’s me! Chara!”_** The speaker seemed to yell, and yet no sound was made at all. That’s when they realized the voice was _within their own head._

“M-my name’s not Ariel,” They whispered back to the stranger in their head. “I-I’m Frisk.”

A myriad of emotions flickered through them- shock, disgust, horror, anger, fear. A sudden numbness washed over Frisk, and against their will their body began to move _on its own_.

Stumbling out of the patch of flowers, their uncoordinated limbs lurched over to a small stream at the edge of the cavern, and collapsed to their knees.

Their hair fell around their face as they gazed at their reflection stiff with terror. Confusion gets replaced with panic on both sides as each consciousness pieced together what this meant, they jerked away from the water’s edge screaming. Neither was certain whose voice it was that came out of their throat.

* * *

Frisk cried and cried over Toriel’s dust.

**_“Quit crying,”_** Chara said emotionlessly. ** _“You did this on purpose. You don’t get to be sad.”_**

“I never meant to h-hurt her. I’m s-sorry.”

**_“You didn’t cry when you watched that Vegetoid or Loox crumble to dust at your feet. You didn’t say ‘sorry’ then.”_ **

“I was _scared_ Chara! I didn’t know what to do!” Frisk sobbed. “I… I didn’t mean to-“

**_“Didn’t mean to??”_** Chara cut them off. **_“You could have stopped at any time you wanted. You could have run away! But you chose not to. This is all your fault.”_**

“I-I didn’t want th-this.”

**_“Then fix it,”_** Chara hissed. **_“You know how.”_**

“I can’t!” Frisk protested.

**_“Sure you can. There are plenty of puzzles with spikes in the ruins. Go throw yourself on one.”_ **

“But dying _hurts_ , Chara! I don’t like it!”

**_“You didn’t have any problems with it when you jumped.”_ **

Frisk flinched. Chara knew exactly where to hit them so it would hurt the most. The worst part was that they were right. They hadn’t been scared when they took the plunge, but then again they hadn’t exactly planned to live from the fall either.

**_“Why did you keep fighting?”_** Chara asked. **_“She offered you protection. She offered you a home! She stopped trying to actually attack you way before you stopped attacking her! So why?”_**

“Because…” Frisk looked down at their dust-covered shirt and the toy knife in their hands, before casting a glance around the cavern. “Because I don’t belong here,” they said at last. “She was… too good for me. I didn’t deserve it.”

**_“Hmph. I can’t argue with you there,”_** Chara thought, mentally supplying Frisk with a vision of crossed arms. **_“Monsters are too good for anyone. Nobody deserves them. Especially us.”_**

Frisk pondered the statement as they wiped their eyes with the back of their sleeve. Chara spoke as if they were familiar with the monsters of the Underground. Could it be true? Frisk had not bothered to ask Chara personal questions after wrestling back control of their body and finding themselves stranded with a bunch of strange creatures beneath the earth. They’d have to remember to ask later.

**_“Well if you’re not going to fix the problem, then let’s get a move on. You heard what she said; we have to go to the king if you want to leave. There’s nothing left for you here.”_ **

Nodding obediently, Frisk got to their feet and shambled over to the door that led to the rest of the Underground. They paused, looking back one last time at the pile of ash in the middle of the corridor. 

“I’m sorry,” Frisk whispered to the empty room one last time, and left the ruins behind.

* * *

A flower kept following them wherever they went. Neither Chara nor Frisk could fathom why. As long as it kept its distance and didn’t try to attack them when their back was turned, Frisk didn’t care. Chara didn’t trust it. They claimed it wasn’t like any other plant monster they’d seen.

 

Through Snowdin they trekked, trying to avoid any and all confrontation, but Snowdrake and Ice Cap still disintegrate by their hand when Frisk found themselves cornered and assaulted by crescent moons and icicles as sharp as razors. Two dogs die before their axes have a chance to crush them.

All the while a scornful eye judged them from within. Waves of loathing and contempt wafting off of Chara’s consciousness and into Frisk’s mind. Frisk tried to justify their actions and claimed it was self-defense. Chara didn’t want to hear it.

* * *

Papyrus doesn’t let them pass. It’s such a shock to the human, how strong his attacks actually are and how relentless he actually is after solving all his simple puzzles.

They tried to talk to him- to reason or bargain with him to stop, but he does not listen and does not let up. Instead he goes on and on about taking them to the king, and how famous he’ll become when he does.

Finally they cave and retaliate, attacking with an armored fist. They just want him to stop. Just please make him stop. They’re tired and hurt and terrified. 

But he doesn’t stop, and Chara said nothing when Frisk swung their gloved hand, holding nothing back.

* * *

He captured them. Again, and again, until… He lets them go.

They don’t understand why. They don’t ask. Fed up with their escaping, Papyrus showed them mercy and they spared him in turn. Frisk was relieved to not be fighting, relieved they didn’t add another tally to their body count. 

They stumbled into Waterfall. The flower followed.

* * *

There are weapons and armor scattered throughout the regions, and they fit Frisk’s body suspiciously well. Frisk found them useful; a boost in defense and attack made them feel safe. Chara found them unsettling. There shouldn’t have been this much human clothing outside of the dump, especially child-sized.

“I-I promise to do better,” Frisk said in the silence. “To try harder. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

**_“Humans,”_** Chara spat. ** _“We’re all the same. We can’t get anywhere in life without hurting someone else.”_**

“We?” Frisk asked. “Does that mean… you’re human too?”

**_“Oh, I’m worse than a human,”_** the disembodied voice hissed. ** _“I’m a demon, Frisk. Souless, unforgiving and willing to hurt anyone who gets in my way.”_**

“That… that’s not true,” Frisk said, realizing a flaw in Chara’s argument. “You don’t want me to hurt the monsters, so that means you don’t want to hurt them either.”

_**“Incorrect. There’s only one monster I would never hurt, and I have to find him. If any other monster got in my way, I wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of them. I don’t want YOU to hurt monsters because you keep resorting to violence instead of trying to find a peaceful solution. There’s a difference.”** _

Frisk wasn’t too sure there was, but they didn’t push it.

“One monster you could never hurt? What’s his name?”

**_“Like I’d ever tell you. Let’s just keep going. We have to get to New Home.”_ **

* * *

Undyne was relentless and the biggest threat thus far.

She appeared without warning and attacked without hesitation. Frisk could not retaliate even if they wanted, even if they tried. She was safe out of reach with her long ranged attacks, and all they could do was run and hope she could not find them.

A monster kid helped guide the way, though he often had to find alternate routes for himself, leaving Frisk on their own.

Frisk was glad he wasn’t around when Moldbygg was slain after death upon death from the unavoidable and irate monster. Chara had no words.

They save the monster kid from falling, but one good deed did not cancel out eight murders in the Royal Guard’s eye.

She was merciless and uncompromising and trapped them in green. They did what Chara asked and tried to talk, but Undyne was not willing to listen. They could not reason with her, they could not run from her.

So they fought with shoes and died in tutu, and fought with book and died with glasses, and fought and died, and fought and died, and fought and fought and fought and _won_ while Chara watched in silence.

They limped out of the marsh and into Hotland, leaving a stray spear and a pile of dust behind. The flower followed.

* * *

“Chara… are you mad at me?” Frisk asked as they walked through Hotland. “I… I tried not to fight her. You saw. I didn’t want to fight her, but she left me no other choice. You get that, right?”

**_“I’m not mad.”_** Chara said.

“Are you sure? You feel mad.”

**“It’s just… The monsters have changed from when I was last here. And not just Undyne. They’re not as kind as I remember. It worries me. Something has gone terribly wrong.”**

* * *

Mettaton was a lot like Papyrus and a lot like Undyne- persistent, insistent, and violent. But no matter how many times they failed the challenge, Frisk never died.

For Frisk it was a relief to not feel the pain of life ebbing away before being thrust back in time with another chance to do it all again. For Chara, the game was suspicious.

Still, they marched onward with New Home in sight. Two royal guards die before they have a chance to talk. After Undyne, Frisk was not taking any chances.

They stopped in the resort for a moment’s respite before their last stretch to see the king. They leave when a comedian desperately asked for the whereabouts of his missing son.

Before the final elevator, the robot locked them in a tower, transforming to his final state, and there the cycle of death and dying, trial and error began anew. They are not fast enough to dodge, and an apron and cowboy hat is not as protective as they seem. They fight with pan and gun. The audience loved the violence.

* * *

Alphys followed them to the elevator, chatting all the way. She dropped a bombshell on them before they board, and explain the only way out through the barrier is with a human _and_ a monster’s soul.

“I have to kill the king? But I don’t want to fight anymore. Chara… what do I do?”

But Chara offered no advice. The elevator ride is a long way up.

* * *

They’re greeted by a silver house in New Home that looked remarkably like the one in the Ruins. Through the halls and bedrooms Frisk wandered and explored, a faint sense of urgency tugging at their soul. It was a small flame of hope that Frisk couldn’t place until they realized that it was coming from _Chara_ , desperately searching for something.

Whatever it was they were looking for, they could not find it. Instead all they find was a locket and knife.

They don’t stay in the house any longer after that.

A story is told on the way to the castle. Monsters retelling the tale of the first fallen human and a monster prince named Asriel.

“Asriel…?” Frisk asked, remembering something from long ago. “Chara, didn’t you call _me_ Asriel? Is he the monster you’re looking for?”

Chara doesn’t reply as the story goes on, and how the human became ill, how a request was made, how the young prince died after his trip the surface, and how the monster king vowed revenge on those who took his children’s lives.

Frisk regretted ever asking when the story comes to an end. They could put the pieces together themselves.

Sans stared them down in the last hallway, but let them pass regardless. They had a choice to make ahead, and he couldn’t make it for them.

* * *

The king of all monsters recognized them on sight. He tends to a garden and six human souls. The sight sent Chara into rage and despair.

**_“No… how could he? How could he!? He was supposed to be better than this! They were all supposed to be better than this!”_ **

Asgore destroyed their choice to show mercy, and for the first time since they fell, Chara advocated to fight.

And they died and they died and they died, but Chara brought them back each time until Frisk was not entirely sure who it was moving their body. They were starting to hate the memory that played in their head whenever they died. They started to loathe that voice telling them not to give up when it was the very owner of that voice that kept cutting them down. 

Greif and fury fueled their knife, a weapon that fit too comfortably in their hand, but each time they swung, their accuracy got better and their hits got stronger.

And finally- _finally-_ the monster king falls and they’re offered a choice.

**_“Now’s your chance, Frisk,”_** Chara told them. **_“Take his soul and you can leave.”_**

“No Chara, I said I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” Frisk refused. “I know I didn’t stick to that promise as well as I would have liked, but… I have to when I can. Besides, he’s your father, isn’t he?”

**_“People who murder children hardly deserve to be called parents.”_** Chara growled. **_“He was willing to kill you!”_**

“And I was willing to kill monsters. I _did_ kill monsters. But killing him won’t make what I’ve done justified. It won’t make me the better person.”

They choose mercy.

* * *

The flower won’t let them have a happy ending.

Despite showing mercy, despite refusing to take the King’s soul, the weed still had to ruin it all.

With six stolen souls and the power of a god, the flower took control. Through torment and torture they suffered and strained, fighting back in vain and dying more times than Undyne, Mettaton, and Asgore combined. 

It was only Flowey’s boredom and whim that brought them back now, his determination six times greater than their own. They died so much that the novelty of it wore off and they became numb to the pain of death, and still Flowey brought them back. If he wanted them dead, they would stay dead. They were at his mercy now, and he had little of that to begin with. 

The worst part was remembering; each time they died, each time he brought them back, each time every bit of damage they made was undone by the flower’s reset. It was endless. It was madness. Their weak red soul in the devil’s claws.

But they weren’t the only one who remembered each reincarnation.

Sick of saving and loading, six souls of various shades rebelled, stripping the flower of his power and struck him down, and the world faded to black until only Frisk and Chara and Flowey remained.

**_“Kill him, Frisk.”_** Chara said seething with hate. **_“He ruined our one chance of escape! He killed Asgore!”_**

“No Chara, I’m tired of fighting!” Frisk refused. “What good will killing him do?”

They chose mercy. Again and again, despite what Chara said, despite what Flowey said. They didn’t understand. He didn’t understand. In the end he ran away, but not without one final message.

“Do you think you can go through the Underground without hurting anyone? Prove it to me, and you might get a better ending next time.” And then he was gone.

**_“You… IDIOT!”_** Chara screamed. 

“What? What’d I do?” Frisk said. “Didn’t you want me to spare them?”

**_“You trapped us here! You ruined our one chance to get out of this place!”_ **

“But I’m sick and tired of fighting, Chara. It doesn’t solve anything or make anything better. Let’s try it his way. Let’s start over and-“

**_“HIS way?!”_** Chara shouted. ** _“After he stalked and tortured and KILLED us a hundred times? You want to believe he was telling the truth when he said that about getting a better ending? He was probably just lying to you to save his own skin!”_**

“Maybe that’s true, but it can’t hurt, Chara! E-everyone will live again. Everyone will come back-”

**_“No,”_** Chara said menacingly cold. ** _“I don’t trust the Flower and neither should you. The only way out is to get a monster soul, and that’s what we’re gonna do.”_**

“We can’t take Asgore’s soul, Chara. We were barely strong enough to beat him one time.”

**_“I know,”_** Chara said lowly. **_“That’s why we’re going to do the opposite of what the flower said and get strong enough until nothing can stop us from breaking out of here with our bare hands!”_**

“What?! Chara, no! There has to be a better way!”

**_“Don’t worry, Frisk. You don’t have to lift a finger.”_** A cold shutter ran down their back and the weightlessness returned as the panic of losing autonomy set in. Frisk watched in horror as their body moved on its own- the knife in their hand raised, and pointed at their own chest. **_“I’ll do all the hard work.”_**

* * *

They go back- back to the beginning, back to the flowers, back to an LV of 1. But the memory of dust and blood is still there.

Everything is going wrong all at once. Frisk tried to move their body, but they had no more control than when Flowey had the six souls. Chara sat at the helm and held their grip almost as hard as they hold the toy knife.

And then they went hunting.

Each monster they found fell before them, and Frisk could do nothing but watch, petrified with fear. When they dare try to fight or struggle, Chara struck them back down, and before long dust cakes their clothing.

This time Toriel falls in one hit. They’re so surprised by this they don’t even think to take her soul. They lose the chance and move on.

The flower reappears again, but instead of teasing them like before, he startles them with something else.

“Hey… you’re Chara, aren’t you?”

In no mood to answer questions, Chara swings their knife, but he escapes before they can sever his head from his stalk.

_“Wait… how did he know?”_ Frisk asked nervously.

“Like it matters,” Chara spat. “We’ll run into him again soon enough.”

* * *

Snowdin is on lock down after Chara clears out the forest, growing ever stronger. Frisk fights them every step of the way but it’s an uphill battle and their footing is slipping with each EXP Chara gains, and a bit more of their willpower is lost.

They expect Papyrus to be a challenge, but instead he spares them on sight.

_“Chara, he’s letting you go,”_ Frisk begged them to stop. _“Please don’t hurt him!”_

“Did you forget all the times he captured you? All the attacks he threw at you? How much he threatened to take you to the king?” Chara retaliated. “He hurt us first, Frisk. He’ll hurt us again if we turn our backs to him. No one is the exception!”

The blade swung and the skeleton’s head was neatly severed from his body. He barely had time to look surprised before his body crumbled away in the wind.

Sans stopped showing up after that.

* * *

Monsters were running and hiding in fear now. Waterfall was twice as quiet and it was harder for Chara to lure out victims.

Still they hunted, slaying Aarons and Woshuas and Temmies all in the name of righteous justice. They passed a plaque containing an inscription about an angel without giving it a second glance.

Undyne did not die easily. 

Despite their increased strength, HP and LV, she actually became an even _harder_ opponent. 

When that monster kid they so desperately wanted to save got in their way, she jumped to the rescue and took the brunt of a killing blow, and still did not die.

Frisk wanted to shutter when they felt their face twist into a demented smile. “Finally, a challenge.” They whisper.

_“Chara, what are you doing!? This-! Th-this isn’t about escaping anymore, is it Chara? You’re doing this on purpose! You’re doing it because you can!”_

“So what if I am?” Chara growled. “The only monster I ever cared about is dead, and the only parents I ever loved have let children die! If they support this violence, then I will give back to the world what they’ve done to us!”

The warrior readied her spear. Chara sharpened their knife.

* * *

Hotland was mostly evacuated by the time they got there. Alphys’ lab was closed off, and all the puzzles were already solved. 

They combed through the volcano, crushing anything unfortunate enough to be caught moving in their line of sight. Mettaton Neo didn’t stand a chance.

There was only one left now. One more monster to face with the key to their freedom tucked away in his chest. Heaving with lungs full of ash, they stalked towards New Home.

* * *

This time there are no crowds to tell the story of the martyr prince and fall human. 

Instead the flower is following them again. He tells his own tale.

“Howdy Chara! You finally made it home! Do you remember when we used to play here?...”

Chara didn’t listen. Their vision was tunneled, only one objective on their mind. They were blind to anything else.

“…When I first woke up here I was so scared! I couldn’t feel my arms or legs. My whole body had turned into a flower!...”

Frisk listened. 

“…I decided life wasn’t worth living. Not in a world without love. Not in a world without you…”

Unable to do anything else and knowing Chara wouldn’t, they unfolded themselves for the briefest of moments from the tiny mental corner that Chara had banished them to. 

“…So I decided to follow in your footsteps…”

There’s something puzzling about the way Flowey talks… The way he confides in Chara as if they were old friends, as if they’ve _known_ Chara. But how could that be? Chara themselves had said they did not know the flower.

“…Chara, there’s just one thing left I want to do. Let’s finish what we started. Let’s free everyone…”

And then the penny drops.

But before Frisk can get a word in edgewise, Chara gets fed up with the weed’s chatter and turned their eye on him as if remembering who the source of all their strife was.

“…That’s why creatures like us… Ha ha… what is this feeling? W-why am I shaking? H-hey Chara, no hard feelings about back then, r-right?”

Chara shifted to face them fully and brought their knife up to the light. Their lips curled into a sickening grin. 

“H-HEY! Stop making that creepy face! Get away from me!”

The flower retracts into the earth before Chara can swing at them, and Chara lets them go as they turn back towards the final hallway.

* * *

They’re both lost for words when Sans kills them for the first time. Taken by surprise, Chara floated in the void for a bit, lingering between returning and drifting off, too shocked to do much else. 

_“Chara, he’s too strong. Let’s go back like he said.”_

“No,” Chara refused. “We are so close to beating Asgore. We’re so close to freedom! I won’t let anyone stop us now!”

Sans finds a thousand new and interesting ways to end their life, each more gruesome than the last.

Chara’s hatred and spite compounded with each stumble and misstep that brought on a new death, but their rage was not wild or uncontrolled. Each time the jokester smugly shot them down, they rebounded and held their own a few seconds longer, learning his patterns and moves.

Chara fought for what felt like hours. For Sans it was mere minutes, but both parties were quickly becoming breathless and fatigued.

And finally, after a hundred tries and a hundred failures, learning every step of his attacks, Chara makes it to the end. Sans held them there in a permanent stalemate, unable to act, unable to fight.

Exhausted and pinned, Chara did the only option they had left. They waited. Thoughts calculating, planning, scheming, plotting. They funneled their spite into mental ammunition, fuel to keep them going, and bided their time. 

And after what felt like an eternity their patience paid off. The skeleton’s eyes grew heavy and their posture grew slumped. When his grip on their soul slackened and he started to snore, Chara coiled their legs beneath them, readied their knife- and struck.

The skeleton jumped to the side, but Chara had anticipated a dodge. It was all he had done their entire match. Turning quick on their heel, they slashed again and landed a blow before the monster even finished his sentence.

“Welp. I guess that’s it then.” Sans said in a pained voice as blood pooled from his bones. “Whatever happens next… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Chara paid him no heed and marched off to the throne room, pausing only to wipe away a tear from their face that wasn’t their own.

* * *

Asgore doesn’t recognize them as human this time. Chara doesn’t give him a chance to put up his guard when they draw him into battle.

He falls in one hit, but before they can reach for his soul, the flower returns and shatters it.

“S-see Chara? I never betrayed you! I-It was all a trick!” The flower begs for his life, his face morphing into something almost familiar. “P-please don’t kill me!”

**“HIM.”** Chara thinks with pure malice in their thoughts, completely ignoring the flower’s plea. **_“He ruined everything for the last time! But no more!”_**

Chara raised their knife for one final strike-

_“CHARA DON’T! IT’S ASRIEL!”_

Maybe it was the fact Frisk had been silent for so long that it had startled Chara, or maybe it was the conviction in their claim, or just hearing that name, but whatever it was, something in that moment, in that outburst, made Chara hesitate.

And Frisk seized it.

No room for doubt, no room for fear, they muster up their own determination and yank it back from Chara. The first thing they do is make their hand drop the knife.

The blade clatters on the tile, inches from the flower who looks up in horror at the chocking, shuttering creature in front of them.

“Ch…Chara?”

“Q-Quick, hide the knife,” A voice hissed at him through clenched teeth. “I don’t know how long I can hold them back!”

**_“FRISK! What are you doing?! I had him! I could have ended him!”_** Chara screamed in their head.

_“It was Asriel, Chara!”_ Frisk shouted back. Their body fell to its knees and then onto its side where it writhed on the floor as two minds fought for control. _“It was the one monster you said you could never hurt! I couldn’t let you hurt him!”_

“You turned on me too! I thought I could trust you! I HATE YOU, FRISK! I HATE YOU!” The body screamed in the empty air.

_“That’s okay, Chara. Hate me, be mad at me! I don’t mind! But don’t hurt him! Don’t hurt the one monster you vowed never to harm!”_

They tear at their clothes, their skin, scratching and screaming because there was nothing else to do. The flower ran away and Frisk let Chara thrash and yell until they burned themselves out.

_“Chara, I know you don’t think it’ll make a difference… but let’s try to be good. Please? Just once? Can’t we just try?”_

Ten minutes of silence that feel like eons pass before Chara speaks.

“Fine.” They huff, going limp and relinquishing control. **_“You win. You’ve ruined everything anyway so what’s the point.”_**

“Thank you, Chara,” Frisk exhales in a whisper. “It’ll be worth it, I promise. I know this time is going to be different.”

With that, they closed their eyes and reached back to the beginning once more.

* * *

This time they are careful. This time they do not fight. This time they try every other option for a better solution.

They die just as much, maybe even more, but it’s okay so long as they are the only one dying.

Vegetables are eaten, Whimsuns are consoled, dogs are pet, snow puns are laughed at, Moldbygg’s are unhugged, Vulkins are encouraged, and Final Froggits are mystified. Every monster is spared. Every monster is shown mercy.

This time around they hang out with Papyrus and complement his clothes. They run from Undyne, but go back to give her water, and she in turn gives them cooking lessons. They learn a dark secret from Alphys, but support her regardless. 

They become everyone’s friend, and along the way they ask for forgiveness.

Monsters give them puzzled looks. Why ask for forgiveness when you have done nothing wrong? But Frisk insisted.

“But would you? If I did do something bad? If I ever hurt you, knowingly or not, could you forgive me?”

They ask Toriel, and Papyrus, and Undyne, Mettaton, Alphys, Muffet, Napstablook, Monster Kid, the shopkeepers and more. Their answer was always the same.

“Yes.”

Chara stayed quiet the entire time. Be it either apathy or guilt, they ignored the world that they had been so hell-bent on destroying or the forgiveness the monsters gave them. But Frisk would not give up. There was still one monster they had yet to meet.

This time when they face the monster king, a familiar face interrupts, and then another, and another until all the monsters they had met and spared are there to support them.

And when the flower rears its head and steals all the monster souls there is no fear in their heart as their body is filled with determination.

And when the flower morphs into a boss monster’s child, Chara finally uncurls and acknowledges what Frisk has done with overpowering emotion. They cannot find the words, but together they and Frisk hope and dream and hold on through each of his attacks while they SAVE their new friends and REFUSE to die, and when there is only one last monster to save, Chara’s memories overwhelm Frisk as they spill out in a torrent of disbelief and joy, of love and loss, of shame and regret, and Asriel remembers too as Frisk choose to SAVE him again and again when nothing else is available and nothing else is left.

And when everything fades and there is only a crying goat child alone with them in the void, he apologizes and Frisk forgives.

They stand back as he releases all the captive souls and breaks the barrier, but when all is said and done he tells them that he has to go, unable to maintain his form.

**_“Frisk… Can I…. I-I need to…”_** Chara’s thoughts, too emotional to convey clearly, flash in Frisk’s mind of why they are asking. There’s a tugging feeling in their soul as Chara tries to reach out, and Frisk relents, stepping aside as they lend control to Chara for one final time.

They embrace Asriel fully and hold him there as hot tears stain the back of his shirt. It was the first time Frisk truly witnessed Chara cry.

“Ha… Ha… I don’t want to let go.”

“Frisk, whatever happened in the last timeline, I… thank you,” the crying goat sobs. “You really are different than Chara. In fact, I think you’re the kind of friend I really wanted. Truth be told, Chara wasn’t always the greatest person.”

Chara doesn’t argue or try to talk back. They nod in agreement, and let Asriel be the first to pull away from their embrace. 

When the hug ends Chara graciously steps back and Frisk regains control and the void begins to fade and the world returns.

* * *

Hours later Frisk stands on the top of a mountain looking at the sunset amongst new family and friends.

**_“So what happens next?”_** Chara asked, emotionally drained.

_“What do you mean?”_ Frisk said. _“We freed the monsters. Everyone is happy. The end.”_

**_“But… I’m still here…”_** Chara said spacing out. **_“I don’t get it.”_**

_“What do you mean?”_ Frisk asked again, more confused than before.

**_“Frisk, when I first realized I was stuck with you, I thought I had been brought back to find Asriel, but that wasn’t the case,”_** Chara explained. ** _“When I learned he had died, I thought I must have been brought back to get you to the surface instead, and to finish what I started, but that wasn’t right either. You showed me that._**

**_“And then when you spared everyone and I saw Asriel again, I thought, ‘yes, this must be it. THIS is why I was brought back, so I could see him saved’, and then I could have eternal rest, or something. But… The barrier is broken… and I’m still here.”_ **

Frisk contemplated Chara’s words in silence. They didn’t have an answer to Chara’s question, and they doubted any explanation they could give wouldn’t be satisfactory. 

_“Well… maybe you aren’t done?”_ They suggested. _“Maybe you’re still attached to me because there’s still something you have to learn?”_

_**“Maybe,”**_ Chara shrugged, unconvinced.

_“Well, until you do find the reason, I’m here for you.”_ Frisk said.

Chara didn’t reply. Either they didn’t care, or they had just been through so much that they were too tired to argue. But in the back of their mind, Frisk felt a pressure being lifted, one so light they had not even realized it was there until it was gone. The weight of one less worry off of Chara’s shoulder’s and out of their shared headspace. 

And when Frisk takes Toriel’s hand they start descending the mountain together with excited monsters chattering all around, two quiet words are whispered in their thoughts as if the speaker wanted to say them but they didn’t want them to be heard, and so they almost go unnoticed.

Almost. 

**_“Thank you.”_ **


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, I'm a day late. This took longer to revise than I thought. Sorry if the wording is a little repettative near the end I tried my best. 
> 
> This chapter is still too fucking long.
> 
> Tags have been updated, for better or worse.

The pain was immediate and excruciating. 

Frisk inhaled, desperate to scream, but only ended up choking on their own tongue. The blow was more than strong enough to take out every bit of HP they had, and they watched through watering, squinted eyes as the two halves of their split soul shuttered and splintered, threatening to shatter into a hundred pieces.

Alphys’ machine worked quickly, encapsulating one half of their soul and tearing it away along with Chara’s thoughts, while magic poured over the other, cauterizing its jagged edge closed with magic so cold it _burned._

Frisk felt their mind go fuzzy, the familiar haziness that herald their impending death, encouraging them to let it all go. And just for a moment, the thought sounded tempting.

But they refused.

With a surge of determination, Frisk fought back against the darkness encroaching in their mind, clinging on to consciousness with every ounce of willpower they had.

Magic washed over them, coating their soul in thick layers of healing spells until it no longer trembled, and its red light glowed steadily once more. Frisk gasped, and the red shine of their soul-half pulsed in time with their breathing before settling back into their chest with a dull ache.

The out-of-body disconnect faded, but their head felt… lighter now. Like something was missing.

_Chara._

They couldn’t hear Chara anymore. They couldn’t even sense their presence. Had it worked?

From inside the pod Frisk began unlocking the hatches and doors as fast as they could move their fingers. They pushed off the lid of their capsule and the cold air hissed as it escaped into the room. They sat up and immediately turned to Chara’s container. Buttons beeped and lights flashed as the liquid inside was drained away and the water-tight seal broke with a sigh.

From somewhere above, Alphys’ voice came over the PA system giving instructions to remain stationary until she could properly assess them. Frisk promptly ignored the order and climbed out of their pod. On rubbery legs they staggered over to Chara’s side of the machine, pouring out a frigid mist.

“Chara?” Frisk nervously called out, waving away the thick fog and peering into the pod. From inside the capsule, the human body grimaced, opened its eyes and blinked several times.

“Chara! It worked!” Frisk’s voice melted in relief.

Hissing with stiffness, Chara unfolded their new arms and legs and struggled to sit up, their yard long hair draping over them. From somewhere behind, heavy foot falls of the other monsters making their way down into the room grew louder as they approached.

“How do you feel?” Frisk asked.

Chara gave Frisk a sidelong glance, knit their brow in confusion, ran their tongue across the inside of their cheeks… and spat out a hand full of teeth onto the floor.

Oh God, they’re dying.

“A-Alphys!” Frisk cried out in alarm. “Help! Chara’s falling apart!”

“Don’t panic! Don’t panic!” Alphys said while panicking. She scurried into the room, Toriel and Asgore not far behind with a blanket and wheel chair in hand, and Sans bringing up the rear. “Th-those are just the milk teeth! They’re supposed to come out! I j-just had no way of removing them while the body was still in development. Now d-don’t move too much just yet. I need to check your stability levels…”

Frisk took a deep breath to steady themselves. Chara was not falling apart. They were fine. Crisis averted. Everything was going to be okay. 

Faint sounds of struggle caught Frisk’s ear and they refocused their attention to find Chara trying to get up. Their limbs, practically emaciated, didn’t have enough muscle mass to allow them to stand or even climb out of the pod. It also didn’t help that everything about them was wet and damp, resulting in them unable to get a grip on any surface they touched.

“Here, Chara, let me help,” Frisk said, moving behind Chara to help pull them out, but Chara shook them off with a weak jab from their elbow, and for the first time they spoke;

“ _Bachhoff!_ ” they squeaked, like a mouse on helium.

Frisk flinched in surprise and Chara blinked, equally dumbfounded. They turned to Alphys who was scanning over some printouts nearby.

“ _Affis, Whaths wong wiff my foice?_ ” Chara asked in slurred soprano.

“D-don’t worry!” Alphys assured them. “You’ve just never used your vocal chords before! I-I promise with a few weeks of speech therapy, your enunciation will improve a-and your voice should drop. Speaking of therapy, I’ll need to p-put you on a physical one as well so we can reverse this muscular atrophy. But s-sorting that out can w-wait until tomorrow. Right now I n-need to give you a checkup t-to make sure you’re sound, a-as well as a few vaccinations, if you d-don’t mind.”

Sweat shined off the nervous lizard’s scales as Chara processed what she said. Their eyes narrow and they take a breath to speak, but Toriel cuts them off.

“Of _course_ Chara will happily be willing to participate.” She said with a pleasant smile, though her eyes were giving Chara a Warning Look. “They know how hard you have worked to restore their body and would gladly let you give them a physical without a fuss, _right_ Chara?”

Taking the hint, Chara rolled their eyes and nodded, and allowed Asgore to lift them from the capsule. After swaddling them in the blanket, Toriel wheeled Chara out of the area, following the doctor to a private examination room.

Frisk made to follow, but was stopped by Asgore with a gentle, but firm, hand. 

“Frisk, I know you want to be there for Chara, but let’s let them have their privacy.” The old king said. “Chara is probably feeling a lot of complicated emotions right now with everything they now have to cope with, so the fewer people in their hair the better. Trust me, they will appreciate it.”

“Yeah, not only that but you need your own checkup.” Sans spoke up for once. He winked and pulled out a clipboard. “Follow me, Frisk. I’ll give you a once-over and then let you outta here. If you’re good, I’ll even throw in a lollipop.”

Frisk was unconvinced with Asgore’s claim, but didn’t argue. Nodding obediently, they followed Sans away from the soul extractor to their own private examination room.

XXX

“So, any headaches?” 

“No.” 

“Any sudden memories you don’t remember having?”

“No.”

“Any memories you think you’ve forgotten?”

“How will I know I’ve forgotten them, if I can’t remember them?”

“Fair point.” Sans smirked. He jotted down the note on his clipboard and gave Frisk a lazy smile. “Welp. In my expert medical opinion, you’re still you. No left over bits of that other guy in you.”

“Chara.” Frisk corrected him. 

“Yeah, whatever. So, unless you’ve got any concerns, I’d say you’ve got a clean bill of health.”

“I do have… some chest pain,” Frisk admitted. “Like heartburn that won’t go away.”

“Aww, a broken heart?” Sans chuckled.

“More like a fractured soul,” Frisk reminded him. “Is this normal?”

“Eh, probably.” The skeleton shrugged. “It may take a few days for your body to adjust to having only half a soul. I’ll prescribe you some painkillers if you want, but other than that you’re free to go.”

“And Chara?” 

“Oh, they’ll probably have to stay here for a few weeks.”

“A few weeks?” Frisk parroted, desperation creeping into their voice. “Why?”

“Frisk, have you seen the kid?” Sans shrugged. “They’re practically skin and bones and I don’t mean that as a pun. In their current state they can barely move on their own and are much too fragile for us to move long distances.” When Frisk seemed disheartened, Sans changed his angle. “Frisk, listen. I don’t know what you see in the guy, but like it or not they’re not ready to be thrown back into society just yet. Don’t you want to play it safe and give them a chance to recover?”

“Sans is right, Frisk.” Asgore spoke up. “Besides, we ourselves are not ready for Chara’s homecoming just yet. They will need their own bed and clothes at a bare minimum, and we haven’t acquired any of that yet.”

Frisk’s shoulders sagged. They hadn’t thought of that. Just the thought of bringing Chara home had blinded them to anything else. 

“I say we go home, get a good night’s rest, and then plan what we shall do in the morning.” Asgore suggested. “What do you say?”

Frisk reluctantly agreed, fighting off the urge to complain like a child. It wasn’t _fair_. Frisk had just been split from Chara and now they had to separate _again_. But deep down they knew Asgore and Sans were right. They really weren’t ready, and juvenile impatience wouldn’t help prepare them.

“Tell Chara I’ll visit every day.” Frisk asked Sans. 

“Really, Frisk?” Sans said. “You’re gonna make an hour-long car trip and hike to and from the true lab every day? That seems a little impractical.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Patience, Frisk.” Asgore interrupted. “Chara is not going anywhere, and there will be time for catching up later. For now, let us find Toriel and head home. Chara will understand. After all, we’ve all had a long day today.”

Hanging their head, Frisk resigned and reluctantly left the true lab, leaving Chara behind.

* * *

God, Chara had almost forgotten just how _hard_ living could be.

It seemed as soon as they had been placed in the wheel chair the doting began. Immediately monsters began fussing over them, bombarding them with questions; are you too cold? Too hot? In any pain? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? It was too much. Everyone was too loud and too close, but Chara didn’t have the strength or energy to push them away. It was so unfair. They had not asked for this.

Alphys gave them an EKG, and a CAT scan, and an eye examination, hearing examination, reflex test, repertory inspection, and every other kind of checkup imaginable. All their tests came back with good results, but the doctor did not allow them to go home. They were too delicate, still. Too frail to be let loose upon the world. They were healthy, but not healthy enough it seemed, and Alphys put them on a strict diet and exercise plan.

 _“Just make it through these next ten seconds,”_ they bargained with themselves, in the moments when it seemed most unbearable. They inhaled and held their breath while they counted. _“Okay, now just make it through ten more…”_ They exhaled in time until the ten seconds were up. _“Alright, just repeat four more times you’ll have lived another minute. Then you just need to get through the next one.”_

With muscles about as strong as cooked pasta, they needed assistance with everything from getting dressed to eating food. Each day waking up in the true lab was like a trial; each hour, a literal challenge they had to survive whether they wanted to or not. 

The road to recovery was Hell. It seemed that every moment Chara was awake they were being asked to exercise or speak, performing like a monkey in a circus. In the back of their mind they knew these sessions only lasted minutes at a time, but it certainly felt endless when they spent the rest of their time unconscious, their new body apparently requiring as much sleep as an infant. But as hard as the therapy was, they endured, knowing the sooner they could stand on their own, the sooner they wouldn’t need the humiliating care of monsters babying them.

The rare occasions when just existing wasn’t so utterly draining, and Chara found a moment of free time to themselves were the hardest. Moments when they suddenly found themselves awake in the middle of the night, or the small gaps between meals and therapy sessions when they were unattended and had nothing to do but listen to their own thoughts. 

Alone.

They did a lot of thinking and self-reflecting, helpful or not. There was no second conscience now to tell them which thoughts were bad.

The hardest thing for Chara to adjust to was probably their own reflection. Despite their makeshift hospital bed room being well furnished with plenty of things to do, from reading books, to listening to music, to watching movies and even browsing the internet on a jerry-rigged laptop Alphys had engineered, the only thing Chara had even a remote interest in doing during those spare moments of downtime was studying themselves in the mirror.

“ _This is you,_ ” they thought to themselves, staring at their reflection and then down at their hands. “ _This is me._ ”

For such a simple and obvious truth, it seemed impossible for them to accept. And yet day after day their own reflection would catch them off guard. This body... made new from old pieces. It was every bit as much their same old body right down to the DNA, and yet completely different all at once.

They _hated_ it.

They hated this body; this stupid useless body that could not walk or speak right or even chew its own food. They hated being doted on by monsters wearing fake smiles and pretending like they _liked_ caring for a helpless, near-twenty year old. They hated how much shorter they were now, losing at least four inches in height compared to when they were joined with Frisk. They hated being cared for, they hated how they couldn’t do anything on their own, they hated how this body couldn’t stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, and got tired from simply _breathing_.

But most of all, they hated how _perfect_ it was. 

They couldn’t deny, while it was broken is some aspects, it was fixed in others. This body had no signs of the wear or tear from their previous rough-and-tumble past; their hands and feet had not calluses, their nerves and tendons no aches or twinges from ancient injuries, their skin no scars from all the fights the picked and lost, or when they had found something sufficiently sharp to use on themselves.

Their bare arms were especially and hard for them to accept. The cerulean veins traces from their elbow to wrist, perfectly intact under their semi-translucent skin. For as long as they could remember the silhouette of those veins had always been broken and segmented like a perforated line, and their skin as thin as patty paper, perfect for something like scissors, or a knife, to trace along, like a game of connect-the-dots.

Six words resurface in their mind, reminding Chara why they never followed that line, instead opting to only make more dashes in the illusion, tallying up every mistake they had ever made in their miserable existence so they wouldn’t forget and learn to be better next time;

_Horizontal for hospital. Vertical for morgue._

Those tallies were gone now. All its flaws corrected, all its errors just erased, and it was just given to them like it was nothing. Like they were just allowed to start over fresh with a clean slate and none of their past actions mattered. They were being _rewarded_ for dying and committing sins unforgivable. They couldn’t accept it. They didn’t _want_ to accept it, but it was a gift they could not return.

So instead, they followed the regimes and complied with the therapy. They forced themselves to train and practice and get stronger and learn to stand on their own again. They could not be with Frisk anymore. Frisk had made that clear the second they demanded Alphys split them apart. And even if they couldn’t reject this new body they had been forced into, they could sure as hell do the next best thing.

One way or another, they would go away.

* * *

Walking up alone was probably the hardest thing for Frisk to adjust to. On more than one occasion they found themselves trying to exchange morning pleasantries with the presence that was no longer in their head, only to remember they weren’t there anymore after minutes of silence.

It was such an alien sensation. Frisk couldn’t remember the last time they could think any thought without a second opinion chiming in. Chara’s absence from their mind was like a canyon so deep, its bottom couldn’t be seen, and never before had Frisk felt so utterly alone. It felt like a piece of them had gone missing.

Their chest hurt.

Sighing in annoyance, Frisk got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take medicine and get ready for the day. Even after a week, the chest pain hadn’t subsided. Frisk wondered if Chara had it too.

XXX

They visited Chara as often as they could, often just to be moral support as they watched Chara relearn how to pronounce words, or practice their penmanship, or struggle to lift up five pound weights. It seemed Chara was improving in leaps in bounds, getting stronger and looking healthier each day. On their very first visit back, Chara had gotten a haircut to shorten it back to their preferred shoulder length, and received a complementary nail trim as well. They were still as skinny as a reed and their face bore permanent dark circles, but each day those brilliant ruby red eyes of their seemed to shine brighter and more alive.

On the off chance they had a few minutes to talk, Frisk shared with them news and gossip from the surface though Chara rarely, if ever, joined in the conversation. Frisk didn’t mind. Chara was probably just embarrassed by their voice still. They gladly filled the silence for both of them.

Back at home Frisk worked with Toriel to renovate their room to make space for their roommate. A new bed and desk and bookshelf were added to the living quarters. While Toriel focused on practical things, like picking out bedding and clothing, Frisk focused on finding more novel things they thought Chara would like. Worry stones, fidget cubes, and other tactile trinkets were placed alongside Chara’s book of fabric swatches on their new desk, along with a brand new lamp, laptop and cellphone. In only a couple of weeks Chara’s half of the room had been fully prepared, ready and waiting for its new owner to come home.

Frisk began counting down the days.

* * *

Chara had a lot of visitors. Toriel and Asgore coming by on alternating days was a given; they took turns, stopping by daily to help them and to make sure Chara actually cooperated with all of Alphys’ regimes. Papyrus and Undyne came around a lot, usually to lend a helping hand or word of encouragement as Chara struggled through their speech classes or workouts. Sans was always there. Even when they couldn’t see him, Chara knew the skeleton was still lurking somewhere just out of sight, and they knew if they even so much as _looked_ for an exit before the doctor discharged them, he would appear right on cue, much to Chara’s despise.

Frisk visited frequently. Chara couldn’t fathom why. Now free of the parasite that infected their head, wouldn’t it have been easier for Frisk to just to up and leave them? They had already been thrust into the world without warning, and dropped like a newborn pack seal; abandoned twelve days after birth and left to figure the rest out on their own, or die on the ice.

Ah, but Frisk was too nice, too kind to just kick someone to the curb, even if the person in question deserved it. They’d have to have a reason to drop someone not worth their sympathy. Chara would happily give them a reason if it meant Frisk would drop their good-Samaritan act of putting up with them when they both clearly knew it wasn’t worth Frisk’s time.

“I’m starting college in a week,” Frisk told Chara one day mid-September. “It’s just community college since I missed most of the application deadlines for the bigger universities. “

“Guess that’s my fault, huh?” Chara said defensively.

“What? No! I mean, I got a lot of letters from universities from around the country _asking_ me to go to their schools, but I think they just want me there because of my notoriety to bring _them_ attention. Truth is I always planned on going to a school in town so I wouldn’t be far from home. It’s just that, even if I take online classes, I won’t be able to visit as much. I just wanted to let you know that.”

“You don’t have to visit at all, you know.” Chara told them. “I’ll live, whether I want to or not.”

“I know, but I enjoy visiting.” Frisk smiled, either unaware or unfazed by Chara’s remark. “I don’t want you to be lonely. And hey, maybe if you’re feeling up to it, you can join me at college in the spring! But if you want to take the semester off to work on your health, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Ugh, Frisk sure was good at subtly reminding them they only came around because they felt obligated for Chara’s benefit. The sooner they were discharged, the better it would be for everyone involved.

* * *

A month and a half had passed before Alphys deemed Chara fit to leave the hospital. It seemed unspoken and understood that Toriel would receive custody. After all, Chara had been living with her already, whether they knew it or not. Asgore didn’t argue.

The day Alphys declared they were strong enough to leave the true lab was one full of commotion. Asgore, Toriel and Frisk had all come to escort them home that evening. Despite being able to walk again, the uneven terrain of the mountain side proved too tricky for Chara to navigate, resulting in them having to be carried down bridal-style in Asgore’s arms. Alphys prattled on and on about Chara making sure Chara stuck to their diet and exercise program, and practiced pronouncing their phonemes and morphemes for at least one hour a day, and did at least thirty minutes of handwriting each day, all the way down the mountain and as Asgore helped Chara get situated in the car. She didn’t stop until Undyne intervened, picking up the yellow lizard and placing her in the former guard’s own car to take her girlfriend home for the night. Everyone made a mental note to thank Undyne later.

It was completely dark and well past Chara’s doctor-recommended bed time by the time they return home. Chara looked upon the house with tired eyes. It was familiar and yet so alien now, a place they would live in, but also a place that was not _theirs_. Chara couldn’t even begin to describe the conflicting emotions the sight brought.

Asgore helped Chara into the wheel chair as soon as they parked, and wheeled them inside. They couldn’t help but notice how antsy Frisk was. “You’ve had a long day,” Frisk said awkwardly. “You probably want to go to bed right away.”

“Would be nice,” Chara said insouciantly. Arms still too weak to push the wheelchair themselves, Asgore politely rolled Chara into the room where they pause in surprise.

“Ta-da!” Frisk exclaimed, showing off the newly added furniture. “What do you think? We got you all your own stuff!”

Chara was at a loss for words. Frisk’s room had been completely rearranged. There were two beds now, and two dressers. An additional desk had been added, complete with chair and lamp and stationery. So much extra stuff in the room made it feel cramped and claustrophobic.

Chara stared blankly at their new accommodations. Separate accommodations. There were two sets of everything, one for Chara one for Frisk. Was Frisk trying to rub it in their face or something?

After a minute of utter silence, it occurred to Chara that Frisk had been waiting for an answer.

“I’m tired,” they whispered, averting their eyes. “Can I go to bed now?”

Frisk’s smile faltered and their shoulders sag. Clearly, this was not the reaction they were hoping for. Never the less, they politely exited the room to give Chara privacy so they could undress and change into their sleepwear, and headed to the bathroom to start their own bedtime routine.

Once alone, Chara struggled to their feet and pushed the wheelchair aide. They pulled open a drawer of the new dresser, unsurprised to find it full of new clothes, _different_ clothes, _separate_ clothes just for them. They fought off the anxiety and grabbed a t-shirt and shorts. They made a bee-line to the bathroom after changing, and narrowly avoid colliding with Frisk who was on their way out. Pushing past them, they get to work brushing their teeth, filling their mouth with foam so they don’t have to respond if Frisk tried to strike up a conversation.

A few minutes later and they’re back in Frisks room, and head straight to bed without looking in Frisk’s direction. Frisk followed suit, turning off the light and climbing into their own bed, but they don’t immediately doze off. 

“Hey Chara?” Frisk called out softly in the dark.

Chara didn’t reply. 

“I’m really glad you’re home.” 

Chara rolled over to face the wall and forced themselves to sleep.

* * *

Frisk was beginning to worry. Chara had not been as thrilled as they had hoped at seeing their new accommodations, but it wasn’t until now that their aloofness felt like a warning sign. When Chara was in rehab in the true lab, Frisk had chalked up their coldness to being unhappy in the hospital, but seeing them continue to be distant at home was troublesome. 

Each morning Frisk scrambled to turn off their alarm clock before it could stir their sleeping roommate. In those few minutes they had before eating breakfast and going to school, Frisk couldn’t help but study Chara in their sleep. Despite two extra thick layers of blankets, Chara still shivered like their body still hadn’t figured out thermoregulation. They tossed and turned in their sleep, their brow creased and face pinched as they had to deal with the dreams and nightmares that Frisk could no longer see, all on their own. The dark circles under their eyes seemed like a permanent fixture no matter how much rest they got.

Frisk’s heart panged for them in sympathy. Only Chara knew how to make even sleep look exhausting.

Unable to help and running late for class, Frisk had no choice but to leave Chara to deal with their night terrors alone. 

Chara was always asleep whenever Frisk came home from class. The only signs they had ever gotten out of bed that day were a couple of dirty dishes in the sink and a bunch of scratch paper covered with crudely written letters and words.

Frisk did not blame Chara for their irregular sleep schedule, nor did they hold it against Chara for not being awake when Frisk got home. They knew it would take time for Chara to reach a hundred percent, but still... they missed them.

Their chest still hurt.

* * *

Five times out of seven, the house was completely empty whenever Chara awoke.

Moving slowly, they performed their daily routine Alphys had prescribed for them; a morning stretch, a hot shower, a healthy breakfast, an hour of speech training, a half hour of writing. They worked carefully and slowly, moving at their leisure. 

When their required exercise was out of the way, Chara took it upon themselves to push their limits a little more. They took up walking.

Their fingers still weren’t quite as dexterous as they wished as they struggled to tie their shoes, but after a fourth go, they managed a crude knot, grabbed a walking stick and opened the front door. There’s one particular place they want to go, but even they know that goal is still too far out of reach, so for now they just wandered. For now, all they want to do is see how far they can go. So, picking a direction at random, they take a breath and set out.

Their first day doesn’t get them far. In fact, they’re forced to turn back only a half-hour later, weak-kneed and out of breath. But that doesn’t stop them from trying again the next day, or the day after that. It takes time, but before long they’re walking longer and longer distances with each outing.

Their body quickly learned to adjust, even going so far as to wake when Frisk wakes, though they didn’t dare move until Frisk had left the house, and each day they managed to stay out a little longer before having to return back home. And so it became part of their routine as they pushed themselves each day; returning home and back to bed before Frisk could catch them awake, until they were strong enough to stay out for extended periods of time, and just a little closer to not returning home at all.

* * *

The first day Frisk came home from school only to find Chara gone had nearly given them a heart attack. The ever present ache in their chest sharpened into a stabbing pain until Chara had returned almost an hour later, panting and trembling.

“Chara,” Frisk said with relief, when their roommate came through the door. “Where were you? Are you okay?”

“I was out walking,” Chara grumbled. “Like the doctor told me to. Is that a problem?”

“What? No, I just…” Frisk stammered, taken about by Chara’s snippiness. “Can you please leave a note or send me a text message if you’re going out? I was worried.”

Chara shot Frisk a bitter look.

“What are you? My warden?”

Frisk recoiled in shock. “W-what? N-no, I was just,” They stammered, trying to back pedal.

“You just want to know where I am at all hours of the day. You don’t think I’m fit to take care of myself.”

“No! I think you can handle yourself just fine!” Frisk threw up their hands in defense. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to control what you do, and I didn’t mean to sound like I was trying to dictate your life. But you look unsteady. Did anything happen? Do you need me to get the wheel chair?”

“I’m _fine_ , Frisk.” Chara snapped at them, roughly pushing past. “And I’m not in the mood for twenty questions, so leave me alone.”

Frisk let the conversation drop, hurt and confused. Chara had lashed out at them before… but why did this time feel different? 

From that day onward, Chara came home a little later each evening. Weekends were different. Frisk couldn’t be certain if this were the case on days they were not there, but it felt like Chara was in more of a rush to get out of the house and away from them.

One Saturday morning Frisk brought it up to Toriel, after they watched as Chara packed a backpack full of snacks and water bottles.

“I’m heading out,” Chara mumbled as they reached for the door.

“Okay, be safe dear,” Toriel had said without looking up from the school papers she was grading.

“Wait, where are you going?” Frisk asked politely. 

Chara narrowed their scarlet eyes at them. “Wherever I want.” They shot back.

“Oh. Say, I don’t have any assignments or tests to study for this weekend. Would you mind if I walked with you?”

“Yes.” Chara said tersely, slamming the door behind them.

After a minute of silence, Frisk turned to Toriel. “Mom... is Chara… mad at me?” They ask nervously.

“My Child, I highly doubt that.” Toriel replied.

“But they seem so irritable lately, and every time they look at me, it’s like I’ve done something wrong…”

“Frisk, you’re working yourself up for a no reason.” Toriel assured them. “Chara is a complicated individual. They always have been. They are probably just trying to work some thoughts and feelings out on their own. Suddenly being alive again probably isn’t an easy adjustment.” Frisk seemed skeptical, so Toriel went on. “Just give Chara some time and space. They’ll come around.”

“Okay…” Frisk conceded. “I still can’t help but worry though. I’m afraid Chara might… get hurt… and we won’t be there to help.”

“Frisk, Chara is stronger than you think,” Toriel reminded them. “And if they need help, you have to trust them to come to you. Do not try to pry them open when they are not ready, or I fear you will make them shut you out for good.”

XXX

Frisk tried their best to take Toriel’s advice and took a step back from helicoptering around Chara, though it pained them to do so. They gave Chara space, putting their trust in Chara to handle themselves and squashing down their concern until Chara finally came back home each day. They kept conversations to a minimum, only giving small reports on how their classes were going, but never demanding to know what Chara did while they were gone. Each morning Chara was still asleep when Frisk had to leave, and each afternoon Chara came back from their day trips too tired to talk to them. 

If the hands off approach made any progress, Chara certainly didn’t show it. Frisk tried not to, but they still worried. They wished Chara would just _talk_ to them, so they could help them with whatever was making them so upset. They had some ideas and guesses as to what it was.

Frisk hoped they weren’t one of them.

Their chest hurt.

* * *

Weeks passed. With each passing day, Chara walked further and further, and their temper became shorter and shorter. More often than not, they tried to avoid Frisk at all costs, but whenever they crossed paths, Chara made sure to strike at them with words or even their hands if they got too close. It didn’t take long for Frisk to get the hint… yet no matter what Chara did, Frisk refused to kick them out. They couldn’t figure out why.

Why couldn’t Frisk just admit that they wanted Chara gone? Frisk had already evicted Chara out of their body, and had proudly shown off what belonged to Chara, and what only belonged to Frisk. Nothing left was theirs to share. Everything was either ‘yours’ or ‘mine.’ Nothing ‘ours’ any more. So why did Frisk still try to keep them around? It was the constant quandary Chara fixated on while they walked, but no matter how long they thought about it, it was a puzzle they just couldn’t solve.

They traveled miles all around the city while they tried to work it out, but they hated how their body, still not strong enough, would inevitably give out on them each day, forcing them to return to the place they knew they weren’t needed, forcing them to endure that temporary business arrangement for another day.

The days grew shorter as fall progressed and the temperature steadily dropped. Chara’s physical health had improved by miles, though their stamina still had abrupt stops, limiting them to how far they could go.

By late November Chara had managed to walk all over town on their daily outings, but there was one place they had yet to go. One more hurdle to overcome before they deemed themselves ready to leave for good. They had only ever gone there once before, long ago when they were arguably smaller and weaker back then. If they could go there again, then they were strong enough to go anywhere. 

It was a Friday morning when they set out, waiting until Frisk had left as usual, and as usual they left no note or message as to where they were going or when they’d come back. If things went according to plan they wouldn’t be coming back at all.

A back pack stuffed with extra provisions, and a wallet full of cash, Chara left the house, and set out toward mount Ebott. 

XXX

The sun had barely breached the horizon when Chara arrived at the park. They waited for the bus to pull away before heading up the trail, making sure not a single witness saw the path they were about to take. When the coast was clear, Chara adjusted the backpack on their shoulders, and began their ascent. 

The climb turned difficult almost at once. Branches and shrubs got in their way, rock falls too steep to climb forced them to find other ways around. Thorns and vines tangled at their feet, and brambles snagged in their hair and grabbed at their clothes, trying to pull them back. Chara fought them off and kept climbing, sharply aware of how much energy they were spending. They knew if they didn’t pace themselves, then their body was likely to give out on them at any moment.

They continued their climb and so did the sun. By noon they were sweating, but the autumn wind cut to the bone. They stop only once to down their snacks and water halfway up the climb before pressing onward. If they stayed stationary too long, they feared their body would not want to move again.

The further they went, the steeper the mountain became. The steeper the mountain became, the slower they began to climb. The sun set quickly, ushering in the cool night air, and Chara cleared the tree line just in time to see the first stars come out, pale against the warm city lights on the skyline. Around them, plant life grew sparse, and the rocks became more jagged. Foot holds became harder to find in the dark.

Their heart pounded, threatening to burst, and their chest was tight and strained. Still they pushed on, ignoring their aching muscles. At this point they knew the further they went, the more they risked collapsing. Their body had given the warning signs to turn back ages ago if they didn’t want to pass out from overexertion, but they were so close to reaching the top, they couldn’t turn back now.

Dizzy with exhaustion, their mind grew hazy and clouded. After a point they had forgotten why they were climbing at all, only knowing that that they must. Completely drained, Chara stumbled onward with no regard to their surroundings, when suddenly a misjudged foot hold gives way, and they slip. 

Out of instinct, they throw their arms forward; slapping them hard against the bare rock, and knocking the wind out of themselves. The pain is enough to shock them back to their senses and they began clawing for any sort of purchase as stones crumbled away all around them and they slid down the mountain face. When at last they stop back sliding, they roll over and hack the dirt out of their lungs. They move to wipe their face on their sleeve, only to pause, suddenly hypnotized by their arms.

The slip they had taken had dragged them over jagged stones, tearing at their clothes. Long scrapes marked their forearms, from wrist to elbow. Already the scratches were swelling bright red even in the twilight, and speckles of blood dotted their skin.

Oh…. _there_ were their scars. The ones they had known so well from their childhood, the ones they had put there themselves. They had gone missing, but now they were back. How strange… they were vertical this time. Had they decided it was time to go to the morgue instead of the hospital? They couldn’t remember tracing the lines…

Chara didn’t know how long they sat there staring. It wasn’t until their cellphone rang that they managed to snap out of it. They pulled their phone out of their pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Frisk. Probably calling to ask where they were. This was the latest out they had been yet. 

Grimacing, they hit ignore.

Chara struggled to their feet and continued onward. The brief rush of adrenaline from their fall did wonders to block out their pain. They decided to take advantage of their near death experience and continued climbing. The top was in sight.

The moon had risen and was there to greet Chara at the summit.

Out of breath, Chara wheezed, swaying dangerously with every step they took. In the moonlit night they spied a familiar cave and shambled over to it. A dark shadow broke the horizon; the cave on top the mountain with a darker shadow inside. 

Before them lay a familiar pit. For a while Chara just stood there, staring into that dark abyss, their mind beginning to wander. If they were to jump a second time, there’d be no monsters to hear their cries for help.

“I made it,” Chara said under their breath. They managed that same climb they had done all those years ago, when they were younger and smaller then.

But… that was a long time ago... Now they were older and smarter, and they studied the pit with an air of contempt. Sure, jumping was an option, but it wasn’t their only option. The funds on them could last them a couple of days and could easily get them a bus ticket or two. They weren’t the greatest choices for running away from home, but at least choices were _there._ And sure, ultimately they still couldn’t go far, but at least they _could_ go. They had just needed to prove to themselves that they could do it, and they had succeeded. They had conquered the mountain. They could conquer any obstacle now.

After they had decided they had seen enough, Chara turned around… took three steps… and promptly fainted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA HA WOW. The last chapter took me an extra day to complete, and then I finish this one in less than two. It is my preferred length of roughly 5k words, so it's not crazy long.
> 
> Also, apparently it's Charisk week over on tumblr? I only know because I still track the tag. I gotta say, I really appreciate that it's still active enough to give me at least one new thing every day. It's like it's always Christmas when I log on (despite most of the content is them as F/F or F/M)
> 
> YADDA YADDA YADDA GO TO THE 4TH PAGE BREAK IF YOU'RE JUST HERE FOR THE GOODS.

Chara opened their eyes some hours later to find the full moon gazing down on them like a curious eye. They stared back at it, waiting to see who would blink first.

A buzzing in their pocket broke their concentration and they lost. Every muscle in their body screamed as they struggled to sit up, but they finally managed to fish out their phone before collapsing once more. 

Frisk was trying to call them again, and judging by the notifications, this was the twenty-seventh attempt in the past hour. Frowning, Chara hit ‘ignore’.

Rolling over, Chara pulled their arms beneath them and tried to get up. Their limbs trembled violently, but no matter how much they strained, they couldn’t push themselves off the ground. Everything ached and they were too stiff to move. They were stuck. Damn their fucking body, failing them once again.

Chara sighed. Well, if they were going to be a run away, they’d have to get used to sleeping in the open now and again. Better start practicing now.

A harsh wind swept over them, and Chara viciously shivered. 

Crap, the temperature was dropping. They had been so focused on getting lost that they hadn’t prepared for this. How typical of them not to think anything through.

The wind picked up, and Chara tried to curl in on themselves, desperate to conserve heat. While they did not fear death, they didn’t want to go like this.

Their phone rang again, and again they hit ‘ignore’. They’re half-tempted to just chuck the phone away, but rationality gets the better of them. After a long internal debate, they swallow their pride, open up their contacts, and start typing out a text message…

* * *

Chara didn’t come home that night.

At first Frisk didn’t worry; Chara usually liked to stay out of the house, but when the sun had set and Chara still hadn’t returned, Frisk began to suspect something was amiss. 

Frisk paced around the house in their pajamas, at a loss for what to do. Should they get dressed and go out looking for them? Should they keep waiting? Chara had never been this late before. Had something happened? Were they lost? Hurt? _Worse?_

Despite Toriel’s advice, Frisk pulled out their phone and decided to give Chara a call. It rang twice before going to voicemail. Had Chara hit decline? Or was their phone dead? Did they really expect them to answer?

When another hour passed, Frisk’s worry began to evolve into full-on panic. A stabbing pain formed in their chest that dug deeper with each beat of their heart. Again and again they tried to call Chara on their phone, but were only greeted by the answering machine.

Unable to take it any longer, Frisk called up Sans, telling him it was an emergency. The skeleton arrived a few minutes later at their house.

“So kid, where’s the fire?” Sans asked, stepping through the front door.

“It’s Chara,” Frisk explained, their voice shaking. “They went out walking today and still haven’t come back yet. I’m… I’m scared something happened. I keep trying to reach them, but I think they’re intentionally ignoring my calls.”

To prove their point, Frisk dialed Chara’s number one more time. It rang twice- then went to voicemail.

“See? I think they’re purposely declining me I’m so worried that they’re stuck somewhere or they’re in trouble.”

“And you called me and not the police because…?” Sans said, scratching his skull.

“As far as the rest of the world knows, Chara still doesn’t exist,” Frisk explained. “Toriel and Asgore are working on getting proper documentation for them, but if the police find out about Chara now, we’d have a legal mess on our hands. I figured you could find them faster anyway with your short cuts.”

“Listen Frisk, I know you’re worried, but what if Chara doesn’t want to be found?” Sans asked.

Frisk gawked at Sans with mouth wide open.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, your friend is legally an adult who can make their own choices, and if they don’t want to come home, they don’t have to, and you shouldn’t force them.”

“So I should just let Chara run away?” Frisk asked rhetorically, trying to keep their voice from yelling. “I should just let Chara put themselves in danger? I _know_ Chara is free to live their own life, but I don’t want them to cut that life short!”

“Frisk, sometimes we can’t have what we want-” Sans starts, but at that exact moment his phone beeped, alerting him to a new text. “Oh, hold on. Looks like your buddy’s texting me.”

“What? Chara sent you a text? Let me see!” Frisk demanded, reaching for Sans’ phone.

Sans fought them off. “Hey, this is a private conversation, Frisk.” Flipping up the screen, he read the message. “…Well, speak of the devil.”

“Don’t call Chara a devil.” Frisk said sternly.

Sans rolled his eyes and started typing on his phone.

“What are they saying? Are they alright?”

“Geez kid, give me some breathing room.” Sans said.

“Sans, _please_ just let me know if they’re okay.” Frisk begged on borderline tears. 

“Yeah, they’re fine for now it seems. They’re asking me to come get them and bring them home.”

Frisk’s legs turned to jelly and they braced themselves against the nearest wall. Chara was coming home. Sans turned around and began walking back out the door.

“Wait! Can I come with you?” Frisk asked.

“In your state? Nah, Frisk. Sit tight here. I’ll be back in a pinch. They’re not too far away.”

“Where are they?” Frisk called from the porch step.

“Apparently at the top of Mt. Ebott.” Sans said, and winked away before Frisk could ask about anything more.

* * *

***Hey, I need your help.**

Chara studied the IM screen. They hated that they were doing this, but they had no other choice. Three little dots blinked in succession as Sans typed his reply.

_W/ what?*_

***I’m stuck and can’t move. I need you to get me home.**

_Why should I?*_

***You know I can’t answer that.**  
***You have every reason not to.**  
***But keep in mind I would only ever ask you to help me as a last resort.**

_Your argument is unconvincing.*_

***Please Sans.**  
***I don’t really feel like dying from exposure.**

There’s a noticeable pause that takes far too long, considering the length of his reply.

_Where r u?*_

***Top of Mt Ebott.**

Another pause, longer than the last. Chara wondered if he wasn’t going to reply, and then-

_omw*_

They breathe.

***Thank you.**

No sooner than Chara managed to hit ‘send’ on their last message did they hear approaching footsteps crunching on the gravel. They twist their head around as far as they can reach and spy the portly skeleton making his way up the path.

“Hey kid,” Sans smiles. “Lovely night for a hike. So… what are you doing up here so late?”

“Oh, you know,” Chara mumbled from the ground. “Contemplating the point of existence and slowly freezing to death.”

“Well, that’s obvious.” The skeleton said, stepping closer and taking a seat on the dirt next to them. “But I kinda meant, why did you come out here in the first place?”

“To see if I could,” Chara replied honestly.

“Not to jump?” Sans asked.

“Not this time.”

“Ah.” The skeleton looked up at the stars while Chara shivered on the ground. They remembered how this game was played. He said one thing then they said another. Back and forth until someone caved first. It was his turn now. They waited for him to make his next move, not daring to risk pushing their only means home away.

“You know… It’s been nearly a decade and I still can’t get over how beautiful these stars are…” Sans said. “And to think you might want to take all this away from us without warning if you get bored enough… I’ve been wondering lately if I should just eliminate that possibility.”

Chara refused to look at sans. They fought the urge to swallow.

“Ah, but that would make Frisk sad, wouldn’t it?” Sans went on. “And we don’t want that, now do we?”

“I don’t care how Frisk feels,” Chara said monotone, their voice devoid of any emotion. “And if you’re worried about me resetting, don’t bother. I’m pretty sure it can’t be done with only half a soul.”

“True, you may not be able to force us back into the underground, but you still remember how to kill, don’t you?”

Chara didn’t answer right away. They wanted to scoff. _Kill? With this pathetic excuse of a body? Please._ But they knew Sans was right. They may not have been able to tie their shoes, but they were certain if they picked up a blade, their fingers would remember how to hold it.

“If you want to kill me, just get it over with.” Chara sighed. They were beginning to regret asking this monster for help.

“It sure would save the mountain some trouble,” Sans snorted. “But unfortunately someone out there is currently tearing themselves apart waiting for you to come home in one piece. But before I do that, I gotta know- why have you been so bitchy lately? Why don’t you want to go home?”

“That’s not my home.” Chara said. “They’re just _allowing_ me to stay there, just like Frisk allowed me to share their body until they kicked me out. The only reason I want to go back now is so I can prepare myself better for the next time I try to leave again. Sorry for trying to make everyone’s lives easier by getting myself out of the picture.”

There’s a pause, and an early winter wind blew over both of them.

“You’re really lucky you know.” Sans said, getting to his feet and finally helping Chara get to theirs. With one arm around their waist, and the other hoisting them on to his shoulder, they manage to stand. “That kid really cares about you. Some would argue you don’t deserve them.”

“Is it really an argument if you agree?” Chara asked as Sans winked them home.

* * *

Frisk paced across the porch waiting for Sans to return. The chilly night air bit at them through their thin shirt and sweatpants. They scanned the street for minutes on end until they simply got too cold and were forced to head back inside. The second they closed the front door, someone knocked.

Scrambling to turn around, Frisk fumbled with the knob and pulled it open.

“Geez, Frisk. ‘Bout time you opened the door.” Sans winked. “We’re freezing out here.”

Sans stepped inside with Chara leaning heavily on them.

“You found them,” Frisk’s voice cracked with relief. “Oh, thank you, Sans.”

Once inside, Chara pushed Sans away and forced themselves to stand on their own.

“Welp. Looks like my work here is done.” Sans said, brushing off his coat. “I’m waaay overdue for my bed time. Nighty-night you two.” And with that, the skeleton headed off back towards his own home in the wrong direction.

Chara tried their best to head to their room before Frisk could stop them, but they weren’t quick enough.

“Chara, why didn’t you answer any of my phone calls?” Frisk demanded, blocking the hall. They actually sounded mad for once. “And why did you go to Mt. Ebott?”

“It’s none of your business,” Chara grumbled, trying to get away. They squeeze past Frisk’s defense and stumble into the bedroom.

“Chara, don’t try to brush this off! Do you know how scared I was?”

“Why don’t you worry about yourself for once, huh?” Chara retaliated, climbing into bed without bothering to take off their sweaty clothes. “I’m exhausted. Let me go to sleep.”

In that moment, something snapped in Frisk. All this time they had been afraid and concerned for Chara, and they were just trying to blow it off like it was nothing! Frisk had had enough.

“Chara, no. Don’t try to ignore me!” Frisk demanded, cornering Chara in their bed. “I’m not letting this drop until I have answers!”

“Frisk will you just _leave me alone!?_ ” Chara shouted, and with all their might, they swung their right arm wide.

Frisk easily avoided the hit, but they were too angry this time to be scared off by Chara’s violent outbursts. Instead, they shot out their own arm and caught Chara’s wrist mid-swing.

They were tired of standing on the side lines and giving Chara space. They were done with waiting for Chara to come to them first. Whatever the issues that Chara had with them, they were going to settle them _now_.

Caught off guard, Chara rolled towards Frisk, their eyes wild with indignation. 

“Let go of me!” They yelled, and lifted their left fist to strike.

Frisk intercepted with their other arm and grabbed Chara’s other wrist, locking them in place. They glace at Chara’s arms and see the scratches for the first time.

“Chara, _did you do this to yourself?_ ” Frisk asked, distraught. Chara didn’t answer. Furious, they thrashed and kicked their legs, trying to push Frisk off. Frisk wrestled back, using their heavier weight to their advantage until they loomed over the smaller person and pinned them to the bed. “Chara, what did you do?”

“Nothing! I just slipped!” They don’t have the strength to push Frisk off and were barely able to keep them at bay.

“You expect me to believe that?!”

“Why do you even care!?”

“Why do I care?” Frisk repeated as if the answer was obvious. “Because I care about _you_ , Chara! And if you’re hell-bent on destroying yourself again, I’m not just gonna sit by and watch it happen!”

“I’m _not_ trying to destroy myself! It was an accident! You aren’t listening to me!”

“Well how am I supposed to listen if you don’t ever tell me anything, Chara?! I’m not a mind reader! I can’t hear your thoughts anymore, so if something’s bothering you, you have to _talk_ to me!”

“Talk? _Talk!?_ ” Chara screamed. “Oh, NOW you want to talk!? You kick me out of your life with no regard for how I felt, and NOW you want to talk!?”

“Kick you out?” Frisk echoed, pulling back a bit. “But Chara, I thought splitting apart is what you always wanted!”

“YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME!”

Chara stopped fighting and stared Frisk down, breathing hard. Their intense gaze radiated frustration and anger, and their chest heaved, practically doubling in size as they fought to get enough air. Then, without warning their expression cracks and all at once the tension broke.

Drawing in a ragged breath, Chara squeezed their eyes shut and went limp, all the fight leaving them at once. They let their arms drop to their sides, and Frisk is barely quick enough to stop themselves from falling on top of them.

“You didn’t even ask if I _wanted_ to be separated from you…” Chara said again, their voice hitching as tears threatened to spill from their eyes.

“Chara…” Frisk said quietly. They released their grip on Chara’s wrists. “But I… You said you always hated being stuck to me.”

“I did… at first,” Chara wheezed. “I hated not being able to feel or eat or sleep. Things got a little better when you started switching days with me, but even that was more than I deserved.” They kept a hand over their eyes, but Frisk still saw tears running down their cheeks. “I should have never been given that second chance. It made me greedy. It made me think it was okay to want things again, but we both know I don’t deserve that.”

“Chara, what is _wrong_ with you?” Frisk said desperately. “It’s like you don’t let yourself be happy.”

“That’s because I don’t deserve to be! And yet I keep getting rewarded in spite of my past mistakes! Your rules… They kept me in check because I knew I couldn’t hurt myself or those around me, and I knew any bit of approval I ever got was really meant for you, so it’s not like I was getting praised for things I hadn’t earned. I thought maybe you and I could cohabitate in a sort of weird symbiotic relationship, but then you go and just exile me without warning. What am I supposed to assume?”

“Chara… I’m so sorry.” Frisk whispered. Unconsciously, they move to lie down beside them so they weren’t towering over them anymore. “You’re right. I should have asked you if you even wanted to split first. I was just… so excited to give you your own freedom that the thought never even crossed my mind.” 

They gave a small sigh.

“And all this time I thought you hated me.”

“ _Me?_ Hate _you?_ ” Chara echoed. “No. Fuck, no Frisk. Never. I’m so sorry if you thought that. I was trying to get _you_ to hate _me_.”

“Why?” Frisk said sounding hurt.

“Because I thought you were just pretending you wanted me around. I was trying to give you reasons to kick me out of your life for good.”

“But Chara I l-” Frisk cut themselves off before they could finish, and rephrase. “I don’t want to imagine a day where I have to be apart from you. I just wanted you to be free to live as yourself so you didn’t have to pretend to be me.”

“That’s harder than you think, Frisk.” Chara whispered. “It’s easy to pretend to be someone you’re not; someone everyone likes, and wants to be around, like you. It’s harder to be me.”

Frisk couldn’t help but notice Chara’s pillow growing damp from their soul-baring catharsis, but they still tried to keep their eyes covered.

“Chara… look at me. Please?” Frisk asked after a few minutes of silence between them.

Chara shook their head, trying to get their breathing under control.

“No. My eyes look freaky when I cry. You don’t want to see them.”

“Yes I do.” Frisk argued. “I love your eyes.”

It takes several minutes of consideration, but at last Chara forfeited and looked at Frisk. The red of their irises seemed to bleed into their sclera, pink from crying. Chara was right, the sight was eerie, but Frisk refused to take back what they had said.

“Are you going to try to run away again?” Frisk asked cautiously. “You don’t have to stay if you really don’t want to…”

“Tomorrow? No…” Chara assured them. “I’m too tired. The day after that? Probably not. Sometime in the future? I’m not sure. I still don’t really feel like I deserve this. I still don’t feel like I belong here.”

“Chara, I don’t know what I have to say to make you understand, but you will _always_ belong here,” Frisk promised. Chara still seemed unconvinced. After another brief silence, Frisk spoke again. “…While it’s true I want you to be free to make your own choices, I was kind of hoping… maybe… you’d want to stay with me?” Frisk asked.

“Frisk, I can’t hold you down like that.” Chara said. “You’re free to choose whoever you want to be with, too, you know. You don’t have to stay with me just because we were forced to be together in the past.”

“Chara, all the times I said I appreciated your company in the past, I said because it was _true_ , not because I felt like I had no other options. We worked together and made a good team. We balanced each other out. I _enjoyed_ sharing with you, and I was hoping… we could continue to share some more. We may not be stuck together, but I was still hoping I could be yours… Can I?”

Chara shook their head. “People don’t own people, Frisk. I know you want me to be able to choose, but I can’t say that you’re mine in good faith.”

Frisk looked away for a minute, crestfallen. Deep down they knew Chara wanted to stay, but they didn’t feel like they had the right to admit it no matter what Frisk said. After a moment of deliberation, Frisk looked back to Chara.

“I know you don’t feel right about saying I’m yours, but… then is it okay if you could be mine?”

Chara gave a shuttering sigh and rolled towards them, hiding their face in Frisk’s shirt. All the anxiety and stress leave their body with one breath, and at last they can breathe easy. 

“You know I always have been.”

* * *

Frisk didn’t remember falling asleep. The rest of the night had been filled with confessions and promises and apologies for their behavior on both sides until each half had come completely clean, but the next thing Frisk knew, they were waking up with sun filtering through the window directly onto their face. 

There’s a weight across their stomach and pinning down their left arm, and they crane their head to find Chara tightly pressed beside them with their legs intertwined and their right arm thrown across Frisk’s chest, anchoring them together.

Frisk heart fluttered at the sight, and for the first time they realized they had woken up with no chest pain. The two soul halves, although still separated, were finally together again and could rest easy.

For a while Frisk lay there, relaxing in the pale morning light. They stole a dozen glances at Chara, observing their sleeping face no longer taut while they rested. Finally they seemed at peace while they slept. Frisk still couldn’t believe that they were _real_ and they were _here_. They can’t help but smile. Everything was finally right with the world. If only they could stay in this moment forever.

Frisk stayed still as long as they could, but inevitably their neck began to cramp and their legs itched to move.

“Chara,” Frisk spoke softly, rubbing Chara’s back with their left arm. “It’s time to get up.”

“Mngh… nooo issa Saturday…” Chara murmured and nuzzled closer to their side.

Frisk hummed and began untangling their limbs from Chara as delicately as they could. With their free arm, they pull back the comforter-

-And immediately slam it back down in mortification.

God.

Fucking.

Dammit.

Of all the mornings… why this one? Why the one after the two of them had to fight and make up? If Chara found out, they wouldn’t let Frisk live it down.

Jostled awake by Frisk’s movements, Chara stretched all their limbs out straight like a cat. “I thought you were getting up,” they yawn.

“I, uh, changed my mind.” Frisk said, hoping Chara couldn’t hear the vibrato in their voice. “You’re right, it’s Saturday. Let’s sleep in.”

“Damn right.” Chara sighed, hugging Frisk across the chest.

Frisk dared to exhale, but it’s a second too soon. Just when they think they get away with it, Chara draws up their legs and knees Frisk in the groin.

Frisk’s entire body jumps.

“Oh, shit. Sorry Frisk.” Chara apologized groggily and tried to straighten out their legs.

“No, no, I’m fine!” Frisk said, gripping the blanket.

“Well, here, at least let me get my legs untangled.”

“No, don’t bother! It’s okay! Really!” Frisk said too quickly to be natural. Chara noticed, and immediately grew suspicious. 

“Frisk, what’s wrong-” Chara said, moving to lift up the sheets.

“No! Don’t!” Frisk pleaded, but they weren’t fast enough to stop Chara from pulling back the comforter, revealing the tent in Frisk’s pants.

“Oh… Well, _good morning_ to you too, Frisk.” Chara chuckled. “Boy you sure do know how to _rise and shine_.”

“Oh, wow, I bet that joke has never been made in the history of everything ever,” Frisk groaned, their face red as a tomato.

“You must’ve wanted me to stay around more than I thought.”

“Oh, come on.” Frisk said, rolling to their right to face away from Chara. “You know it’s an involuntary bodily function that has nothing to do with what happened last night.”

“Really?” Chara teased. “Then tell me; how many other times were you able to get it up since we split?”

Frisk opened their mouth to speak, ready to prove Chara wrong, only to realize that they couldn’t think of a single moment since their break up. Their face burned with embarrassment. _Goddammit, they were right_.

“I have my suspicions you haven’t touched yourself since we got caught, have you?” Chara asked, carefully drawing up their leg again to put some pressure on Frisk’s morning wood. Frisk sharply inhaled, but made no effort to stop them. “I can’t imagine how pent-up you are.”

Chara rubbed along Frisk’s shaft for a while until Frisk was successfully hot and bothered. They pulled away for a moment and Frisk gasped, letting out a breath they had been holding to keep them from moaning aloud. Beside them, Chara wiggled and fussed with their own legs, still concealed by the covers. After a minute, they successfully pull off the pants they had slept in and tossed them aside.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” Frisk reminded them. “I can take of it myself.”

“Oh, but I _want_ to help you.” Chara said. “And didn’t we just have a big long discussion about it being okay to for me to want things and make my own decisions? Roll on your back.”

“Yeah, but… so soon?” Frisk asked, obeying Chara’s request regardless.

Chara placed a firm hand on Frisk’s chest to stop them from getting up, and shifted on top of them until they had Frisk locked in a straddle. Sitting up, the comforter framed Chara’s body like a cape, revealing their body only to the person directly in front of them. Frisk dared to look down. Although still in their underwear, there was a noticeable bump in Chara’s briefs starting to form to match their own.

“Why not?” Chara asked, their face morphing into a look of concern. “Unless, _you_ really don’t want to...”

Frisk shrugged, trying to look anywhere but Chara’s eyes. “I’m indifferent.”

“That’s a goddamn lie.” Chara retorted. “It’s written all over your face.”

 _Okay_ , so maybe of all the things Frisk imagined Chara would be able to do once they separated, Frisk _had_ entertained this particular thought once or twice, but they didn’t want to admit it.

“You were hoping for this as much as I was, weren’t you?” Chara purred.

There was no point in lying when Chara could read them like an open book. Closing their eyes, Frisk gave a small nod.

Chara put the heels of their palms together over Frisk’s ribs and leaned their weight in. They slowly rolled their hips forward, grinding their bulge against Frisk’s. 

Frisk wasn’t sure if it was the weeks of inactivity, or the added roughness of the fabric, or the fact that another whole entity was now involved in the masturbation, but whatever the reason, Chara’s dry humping quickly proved to be more stimulating than they could handle. Chara moved slow and calculated, careful to distribute their weight evenly when not applying maximum pressure against Frisk’s crotch.

Each thrust of their hips felt like Chara was trying to strike a match, and the friction from their clothes rubbing together certainly was getting hot enough to notice. Frisk fidgeted, unsure what to do with their hands. They tried to place them on Chara’s hips, but Chara was moving too much to find a good hold. Panting and flustered, they settled for twisting them in the sheets to help keep their legs still.

“You know…” Chara spoke calmly as they continued their frotting. “I never considered it, but being split from you does have its perks. For instance, I get to look at you from different angles now. I really this one I’m currently seeing.”

A familiar pressure began to build up in Frisk’s gut that signaled they were getting close to their limit, and they tried to issue a warning.

“Chara-ah…” They moaned. “I’m gonna-!” They don’t get to finish as Chara pressed their groin against Frisk’s as hard as they could and assaulted them with quick deliberate strokes. Muscles clenched, Frisk inhaled and tried to bite their lip to stop from crying out, and suddenly there was release.

Chara kept up the pace until Frisk ceased twitching before slowing to a stop.

Frisk took several deep breaths and stared at the ceiling for a while. Chara leaned back and sat on Frisk’s thighs. They hugged their knees with a gratified smirk. “Done so soon? You’re out of practice.”

There’s a damp spot on their sweats when Frisk looked down, but Chara’s underwear was noticeably dry.

“You… didn’t come?” Frisk asked.

“What? From that? Frisk, it’s gonna take a little more than frotting to get me properly excited.”

“That’s not fair.” Frisk pouted.

“Ah, well we’ll just have to try something different some other time, won’t we?” Apparently satisfied, Chara climbed out of bed and began to get dressed for the day. Frisk lingered on the mattress, not nearly as contented, but unsure how to express it. Chara couldn’t just up and walk away until they were _even._ Frisk had to think quick.

“You know…” They ventured to say before Chara could leave the room. “We may have split bodies, but I never said our deal had to end because of it.”

Chara stared at Frisk, a sly smile spreading on their face.

“Is this your way of saying… that I still have permission to do whatever I want with your body?”

Frisk nodded, their heart starting to pound with renewed excitement. 

“And guess what? Today’s an even day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry if this is ending gave you blue balls (or b- blue... beans? That's what urban dictionary says the female equivalent is, anyway). Don't worry, Part 8 is nothing but smut, and I should have it up early/mid May becuase guess what- I've had it completely written since before I even started Part 7, but never posted it because it would have been spoilers for this one. Stay tuned~


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